HEY remember to read Troy and Heather's blog about fast food first or this will make much less sense.
So, now for my thoughts:
Okay. I'm glad Troy and Heather married each other because I cannot think of anyone else in the whole universe, even aliens and people that aren't real like centaurs and Dracula, that likes Arby's.
That said, I can understand why Troy like Burger King. I hate mayonnaise. When people put it on my food, it makes me want to commit crimes.
So, I am willing to forgo delicious McDonalds' fries for the less delicious fries at Burger King simply because I won't have to return my chicken sandwich nine times because they keep screwing it up. But Heather is right, McDonalds' fries are superior.
That said... Has everyone forgotten Taco Bell? I know that their food is disgusting approximately eleven seconds after you swallow it. But boy, those eleven seconds are pretty good. Soft tacos are better than hard tacos. I also like KFC. I think however, that the fast food prize might have to go to Wendy's.
I prefer Wendy's because I like chicken sandwiches and I think they have done a pretty good job with them. I also like their frosties although I can only eat like a half of one because there are like seventy billion grams of sugar in each one. But they are Frosty and Delicious.
(Actually, the best fast food restaurant is Chickafila, but I left that out because they don't have it all over the states and I didn't want to make people who have never been there jealous. But everyone knows it's the best. I like their plain chicken sandwich with pickles. And they never put mayonnaise on anything UNLESS you ask. Which is how America was founded originally. So...
Dear Chickafila,
Thank you for you chicken and patriotism.)
Sunday, December 02, 2007
Saturday, December 01, 2007
And survey says...
Okay, so coming series of blogs is going to be in response to my pastor and pastor's wife's shared blog called "He Said, She Said." They've been posting their differing opinions about different issues and I decided I want in on that action. I am going to try to post something short on all their blogs, so we'll see how I do. I would recommend however that you read their blog first. It's funny. http://cadyhesaidshesaid.blogspot.com/
Reading:
I like to read a lot and I'm usually a fast reader with the books that Heather likes. I'd have to agree with Heather that I get the most relaxing enjoyment out of books that I could have read in the third grade.
When I do read a book that makes me flex my cerebral muscles however, I feel a keen sense of accomplishment. Fear and Trembling, by Soren Kierkegaard, for example, was not an easy read. However, it was one of the most interesting books I've ever read and gave me a new perspective on faith. It was also a pleasure to read in a different way- when I have to stop and put the book down so that I can think for a minute or two before moving on, I feel like I'm actually learning. Someone once said (I can't remember who) that most people when they think don't actually think, they just "rearrange their prejudices." I don't know what I think about people being capable of having original thoughts but we can have thoughts that are original to us- like that time I thought I invented Christian Hedonism and then someone told me about John Piper. So in "summa" my love for reading has more to do with escaping into stories like the Chronicles of Narnia or the Lord of the Rings but my love for knowledge is different. I love reading not for the knowledge but for the story.
OH and PS.
Tonight Troy told the story of Gabriel and I just want to say publicly (because I don't think Troy knows how talented he is [Amy and I have decided that he doesn't]) that it was VERY VERY good. I think this Christmas since I'll be at his house, I will require some Christmas story complete with different voices or something. Like the Grinch or something. I haven't decided yet. or something.
Reading:
I like to read a lot and I'm usually a fast reader with the books that Heather likes. I'd have to agree with Heather that I get the most relaxing enjoyment out of books that I could have read in the third grade.
When I do read a book that makes me flex my cerebral muscles however, I feel a keen sense of accomplishment. Fear and Trembling, by Soren Kierkegaard, for example, was not an easy read. However, it was one of the most interesting books I've ever read and gave me a new perspective on faith. It was also a pleasure to read in a different way- when I have to stop and put the book down so that I can think for a minute or two before moving on, I feel like I'm actually learning. Someone once said (I can't remember who) that most people when they think don't actually think, they just "rearrange their prejudices." I don't know what I think about people being capable of having original thoughts but we can have thoughts that are original to us- like that time I thought I invented Christian Hedonism and then someone told me about John Piper. So in "summa" my love for reading has more to do with escaping into stories like the Chronicles of Narnia or the Lord of the Rings but my love for knowledge is different. I love reading not for the knowledge but for the story.
OH and PS.
Tonight Troy told the story of Gabriel and I just want to say publicly (because I don't think Troy knows how talented he is [Amy and I have decided that he doesn't]) that it was VERY VERY good. I think this Christmas since I'll be at his house, I will require some Christmas story complete with different voices or something. Like the Grinch or something. I haven't decided yet. or something.
Monday, November 19, 2007
Sisterhood of the Traveling Toast
I love toast. Oasis is a good church for me to be in too because they love toast. We're one big happy toast family.
I like toast with
butter,
jelly,
honey,
cinnamon sugar,
nutella,
peanut butter,
peanut butter and chocolate sprinkles (thank you Holland for your contribution to the world of toast),
peanut butter and jelly
and I like blt's which one must make on toast.
I love toast!
Here are my secrets for perfect toast:
1. Don't refrigerate your butter. It won't go bad, you're just being a germophobe.
2. Make your toast after you've already made your tea or coffee but mostly tea because coffee is sick... so that it doesn't get cold while you're waiting for your morning beverage of choice. You must eat your toast warm, Frodo.
3. My final secret for perfect toast is this: once your toast pops up punch the toaster. Just kidding. Once your toast pops up, take one piece out and butter it THEN take the other piece out. By doing this, the second toast doesn't get unnecessarily chilly while you're buttering your first toast.
Now, there are different camps of toast making. I must say, I am not the queen of toast. Troy Cady is. Not only does he make some mean toast but he spreads the butter and the cinnamon sugar to all laterals of the quadrilateral toast. He also makes grilled cheese like a mofo*.**. So, in summation, Troy makes toast good, but by following my three secrets to toast, you can also make toast good too. I love toast.
*I can use the word "mofo" here because one time my mom called me a mofo because she heard it on t.v. and didn't know what it meant. She was like "pick up your socks, mofo," and I was like WHAT? And my sister almost peed in her pants. So I use "mofo" here in that sense. I also use it because no one will read it as the extended version as they would a$$ or buttmunch.
**I use "mofo" in the good sense like Amy uses "sick" every time she sees good dancing.
I like toast with
butter,
jelly,
honey,
cinnamon sugar,
nutella,
peanut butter,
peanut butter and chocolate sprinkles (thank you Holland for your contribution to the world of toast),
peanut butter and jelly
and I like blt's which one must make on toast.
I love toast!
Here are my secrets for perfect toast:
1. Don't refrigerate your butter. It won't go bad, you're just being a germophobe.
2. Make your toast after you've already made your tea or coffee but mostly tea because coffee is sick... so that it doesn't get cold while you're waiting for your morning beverage of choice. You must eat your toast warm, Frodo.
3. My final secret for perfect toast is this: once your toast pops up punch the toaster. Just kidding. Once your toast pops up, take one piece out and butter it THEN take the other piece out. By doing this, the second toast doesn't get unnecessarily chilly while you're buttering your first toast.
Now, there are different camps of toast making. I must say, I am not the queen of toast. Troy Cady is. Not only does he make some mean toast but he spreads the butter and the cinnamon sugar to all laterals of the quadrilateral toast. He also makes grilled cheese like a mofo*.**. So, in summation, Troy makes toast good, but by following my three secrets to toast, you can also make toast good too. I love toast.
*I can use the word "mofo" here because one time my mom called me a mofo because she heard it on t.v. and didn't know what it meant. She was like "pick up your socks, mofo," and I was like WHAT? And my sister almost peed in her pants. So I use "mofo" here in that sense. I also use it because no one will read it as the extended version as they would a$$ or buttmunch.
**I use "mofo" in the good sense like Amy uses "sick" every time she sees good dancing.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
knowing v. Knowing (this blog isn't about sex)
knowing versus Knowing. You can know about dcTalk or maybe you know some of their songs, but do you really Know them? Have you been to one of their concerts? Do you Know that Kevin Max crowd-surfs and is awesome? You can know about a place or even go there to visit, but living there allows you to Know it. I Know Madrid. I Know chicken parmesan subs. Actually, I would like to Know one right now, but from what I Know about Madrid and from what I Know about chicken parmensan, I can Deduce that I won't be getting one 'till I'm back in America.
I think this concept of knowing versus Knowing is crucial for scripture and spiritual matters. I can know that Paul said that he was the worst sinner he knew and that attitude should be our own. It is a different matter altogether to wake up in the morning and call your pastor to say that you don't think you're really saved because you don't know ANYONE who is capable of what you Know you did.
I have known Galatians 2:20 for a long time. It's one of the first verses I memorized. I might have forgotten the reference or when I learned it, but I have always been able to rattle off "I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself up for me."
Over the last year I have spent a lot of time in Romans 6-8. One of the main themes of that chunk of chapters is that as a Christian, I can't let sin reign in my mortal body. I have to crucify my flesh again and again when the sin creeps back in. I've known this in theory for some time but I never really Knew how I'm supposed to crucify my flesh.
So I started flogging myself.
Just kidding.
What actually happened was I was sitting on the metro and the seats were full. I had gotten one of the last ones and it was when I was on the way from my house to the Cady's house which is kind of a long ride, like a half an hour or so. Anyways, I'm usually good about getting up when old people get on or people that obviously need the seat. So this woman gets on, probably in her 60's or so. Not that old. And I am sitting there and I know that I should probably get up and let her sit down. Then the putrescence that plagues every believer creeps in. "She's not that old." "My nana's older and she wouldn't need to sit." "Why doesn't one of the 30 other people around me with a seat get up." "She's probably going to get off soon anyways, and I have like 25 more minutes to go."
Then the holiness that helps every believer whooshes in. "It doesn't matter who she is, she's older, get up." "You just did a bible study on serving. Jesus washed feet, and you can't let an old lady sit?" "Don't listen to the putrescence. That's what I'm here for." "CRUCIFY THIS!"
Then I realized that's what crucifying the flesh is. Doing something that you don't want to do simply because Jesus would have done it. OR Not doing something you really, really want to do simply because Jesus would not have done it. I know that sounds simple and this post probably now sounds pointless, but it had never dawned on me like that before.
To my shame I sat there a little longer with these thoughts rolling around in my head and the idea of crucifixion and whatnot and then, finally got up. She sat down and muttered "gracias." She should have beat me upside the head with her giant old lady purse for taking so long.
I think this concept of knowing versus Knowing is crucial for scripture and spiritual matters. I can know that Paul said that he was the worst sinner he knew and that attitude should be our own. It is a different matter altogether to wake up in the morning and call your pastor to say that you don't think you're really saved because you don't know ANYONE who is capable of what you Know you did.
I have known Galatians 2:20 for a long time. It's one of the first verses I memorized. I might have forgotten the reference or when I learned it, but I have always been able to rattle off "I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself up for me."
Over the last year I have spent a lot of time in Romans 6-8. One of the main themes of that chunk of chapters is that as a Christian, I can't let sin reign in my mortal body. I have to crucify my flesh again and again when the sin creeps back in. I've known this in theory for some time but I never really Knew how I'm supposed to crucify my flesh.
So I started flogging myself.
Just kidding.
What actually happened was I was sitting on the metro and the seats were full. I had gotten one of the last ones and it was when I was on the way from my house to the Cady's house which is kind of a long ride, like a half an hour or so. Anyways, I'm usually good about getting up when old people get on or people that obviously need the seat. So this woman gets on, probably in her 60's or so. Not that old. And I am sitting there and I know that I should probably get up and let her sit down. Then the putrescence that plagues every believer creeps in. "She's not that old." "My nana's older and she wouldn't need to sit." "Why doesn't one of the 30 other people around me with a seat get up." "She's probably going to get off soon anyways, and I have like 25 more minutes to go."
Then the holiness that helps every believer whooshes in. "It doesn't matter who she is, she's older, get up." "You just did a bible study on serving. Jesus washed feet, and you can't let an old lady sit?" "Don't listen to the putrescence. That's what I'm here for." "CRUCIFY THIS!"
Then I realized that's what crucifying the flesh is. Doing something that you don't want to do simply because Jesus would have done it. OR Not doing something you really, really want to do simply because Jesus would not have done it. I know that sounds simple and this post probably now sounds pointless, but it had never dawned on me like that before.
To my shame I sat there a little longer with these thoughts rolling around in my head and the idea of crucifixion and whatnot and then, finally got up. She sat down and muttered "gracias." She should have beat me upside the head with her giant old lady purse for taking so long.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
My Big Family
I have been organizing this trip to N. Africa as sort of a research trip for my church. Our main goal was to go visit this guy named Joe who opened the first Christian bookstore (I'm pretty sure it's the first Christian anything) in N. Africa. So I emailed him asking when we could visit but I had to sort of make my email stealth and not really mention that we were a church or anything because the guy who knows him in our church said that his email is intercepted and read by the government sometimes. So this morning I got an email back from him and it began "Greetings in Jesus' name." I feel like I was just jarred back into reality. Like, I'm still reeling a little bit. This is the life I get to live! I don't have to know a person, but if they are a believer, I can greet them in Jesus' name and know that they are in fact my brother or my sister. How awesome is that!? Like, do you know how big our family is? AHH. I'm excited. I'm excited that people were greeted like that when Paul wrote to churches and that I just got greeted like that 2000 years later. God is unchanging and his church is a rock against which Hell can not prevail!
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Different Strokes for Different Folks
In honor of the seven comments I had on my last blog post, I will post seven different things.
1. One of the things I don't like about Spain is the cereal. It is all nasty. All of it. Except for one kind, Crock Bizz, which is like Smacks in the states but Smacks is too bad for you to eat all the time so I'm stuck with what should be corn flakes and other crap but it's not corn flakes, it's like little pieces of crunchy toasted paper. I love you Crock Bizz and I'm sorry we can't be together. AND I HATE YOU SPANISH CORN FLAKES AND WISH YOU WERE HIT BY A BUS.
2. As some of you know, and as my roomates have experienced, I used to write standup comedy sketches and have preformed them for a very few because they were written in like 9th grade and they're all about my dog and racist people. Well, yesterday, I was walking down the street on the way to the park and I started coming up with new material. I was seriously laughing out loud on the street. I got some looks. Suffice to say, my new material is coming along quite nicely. Man, I'm funny.
3. I'm still eating this cereal and YOU STILL SUCK, CEREAL.
4. So I'm organizing this trip to N. Africa in January as sort of a recon (research) but im gonna call it recon mission to find out who we can serve with in the future and I have a chance to go in the fall with another group of folk and not lead it just to find out where we're going and take notes and stuff and I'm praying about it right now. I don't know whether or not to go, and I don't know if I'll have the money. So pray for that. If I go, I'll miss our big thanksgiving bash which I don't want to miss, but I think that's just selfish. And I'll miss school which I've never complained about before so I don't know if that's a pro or a con. But I don't care about pros and cons, I want to know what the Lord wants so pray, okay? okay.
5. I've decided that even though I'm not married or have children that I have to start making my own holiday traditions. Or just random traditions. I like the tradition me and Amy (my roomate) have right now that just started. Every Sunday afternoon around 2 we go and eat "breakfast" (because we really did just get up although Amy sleeps later than me because it's the only day of the week she can really sleep in because of the construction in our building so she sleeps till like one which is REALLY impressive because i can only sleep till like eleven thirty MAX) anyways, we go eat breakfast at two at this irish pub around the corner where they speak english and actually have a decent breakfast unlike anywhere else ever and it's like a legit irish breakfast (eggs, beans (really good), potatoes, mushrooms, tomatoes, bacon... BETTER THAN THIS FRIGGIN CEREAL) and as we're eating we watch football (the soccer kind) on their tv's cuz there is a game always on, so we're there for like an hour and a half two hours watching sports. sunday tradish.
6. I got a 59 on my business ethics midterm! but he curved it to a C so what does that say about everyone else? And what the crap? It's philosophy. That's like, MY subject. It's my minor. I've never gotten a C in philosophy EVER and now I am ticked. I'm taking the class independent study and so I basically do the readings but don't go to class and get the notes and I understand the reading because again, sixth philosophy class, and whatever, im not going to even justify that grade with a very legit explanation because this is turning into a long post.
7. so the other day I heard again that "Jesus is just a crutch" and you know what our response should be?! YES! He is! But I don't know anyone who doesn't need that crutch. When I am weak, he is strong. That's like the definition of a crutch. Amen to that. Because all of the rest of the crutches in the world like drinking or relationships or pride have GIANT SPIKES on them that stab you in the armpits. But our Crutch isn't like that. They smashed our Crutch and He rose from the DEAD.
1. One of the things I don't like about Spain is the cereal. It is all nasty. All of it. Except for one kind, Crock Bizz, which is like Smacks in the states but Smacks is too bad for you to eat all the time so I'm stuck with what should be corn flakes and other crap but it's not corn flakes, it's like little pieces of crunchy toasted paper. I love you Crock Bizz and I'm sorry we can't be together. AND I HATE YOU SPANISH CORN FLAKES AND WISH YOU WERE HIT BY A BUS.
2. As some of you know, and as my roomates have experienced, I used to write standup comedy sketches and have preformed them for a very few because they were written in like 9th grade and they're all about my dog and racist people. Well, yesterday, I was walking down the street on the way to the park and I started coming up with new material. I was seriously laughing out loud on the street. I got some looks. Suffice to say, my new material is coming along quite nicely. Man, I'm funny.
3. I'm still eating this cereal and YOU STILL SUCK, CEREAL.
4. So I'm organizing this trip to N. Africa in January as sort of a recon (research) but im gonna call it recon mission to find out who we can serve with in the future and I have a chance to go in the fall with another group of folk and not lead it just to find out where we're going and take notes and stuff and I'm praying about it right now. I don't know whether or not to go, and I don't know if I'll have the money. So pray for that. If I go, I'll miss our big thanksgiving bash which I don't want to miss, but I think that's just selfish. And I'll miss school which I've never complained about before so I don't know if that's a pro or a con. But I don't care about pros and cons, I want to know what the Lord wants so pray, okay? okay.
5. I've decided that even though I'm not married or have children that I have to start making my own holiday traditions. Or just random traditions. I like the tradition me and Amy (my roomate) have right now that just started. Every Sunday afternoon around 2 we go and eat "breakfast" (because we really did just get up although Amy sleeps later than me because it's the only day of the week she can really sleep in because of the construction in our building so she sleeps till like one which is REALLY impressive because i can only sleep till like eleven thirty MAX) anyways, we go eat breakfast at two at this irish pub around the corner where they speak english and actually have a decent breakfast unlike anywhere else ever and it's like a legit irish breakfast (eggs, beans (really good), potatoes, mushrooms, tomatoes, bacon... BETTER THAN THIS FRIGGIN CEREAL) and as we're eating we watch football (the soccer kind) on their tv's cuz there is a game always on, so we're there for like an hour and a half two hours watching sports. sunday tradish.
6. I got a 59 on my business ethics midterm! but he curved it to a C so what does that say about everyone else? And what the crap? It's philosophy. That's like, MY subject. It's my minor. I've never gotten a C in philosophy EVER and now I am ticked. I'm taking the class independent study and so I basically do the readings but don't go to class and get the notes and I understand the reading because again, sixth philosophy class, and whatever, im not going to even justify that grade with a very legit explanation because this is turning into a long post.
7. so the other day I heard again that "Jesus is just a crutch" and you know what our response should be?! YES! He is! But I don't know anyone who doesn't need that crutch. When I am weak, he is strong. That's like the definition of a crutch. Amen to that. Because all of the rest of the crutches in the world like drinking or relationships or pride have GIANT SPIKES on them that stab you in the armpits. But our Crutch isn't like that. They smashed our Crutch and He rose from the DEAD.
Sunday, October 07, 2007
Things I want to do when I grow up slash Things I want to do in my life slash Life plans.
See the title for a brief introduction to this post.
okay.
Someday I want to own a pub and work in it and meet people. This will hopefully be in a european country and maybe in the U.K. although if it's in the U.K. no one will come because who goes to a pub run by an american? Maybe Greece. Or China. I don't know yet.
Someday I want to live on a houseboat in silence. Maybe in silence. I'd like people to come and have parties with me on my houseboat so maybe I'd just be silent when no one was there. At this time I would also like to fish for all my own food and maybe grow some vegetables on board. I think it would be cool to be able to be self sufficient for a while and not have to buy anything. Although I think I would want dsl on my boat. either that or I want to not have the internet and just read all the time.
Someday I want to read all the time.
Someday I want to learn how to fly planes. I would like to know how to build a plane and fly it but if I just have to settle for flying a plane that would be cool too. Not big planes, like little two person ones.
Someday I want to be a mechanic. I already know what a distributor cap is and I think I could change my own oil. But I think it would be cool to be able to fix cars.
Someday I want to have a potato farm. I want to grow potatoes and carrots and radishes and all kinds of things that you can't see the final product until you pull it out of the ground. That would be sweet. I hope my potato farm is in Ireland or Scotland, but I would settle for potatoes anywhere. I would also like a goat or a cow on my farm and maybe some chickens. Maybe a sheep or two. I would also have spare rooms here for people to come and visit and I would make these people good breakfasts. ( I have recently perfected the fried potato or homefry if you will. This may sound like no big deal or an easy thing to master but I consider myself a pretty good cook, and it isn't.)
Someday I want to have like nine kids but I think this one might not be able to happen in time for me to do all the other ones. Maybe it can be when I have the potato farm, but I need to get started on being married soon I think because I don't want to have a bunch of kids in my 40s. Maybe six kids would be good. Anyways, I want a whole gaggle of children at some point.
Someday I want to be a missionary in a closed Muslim country. This will involve learning Arabic which I have already started but have sort of stopped. I think this one will happen in the next couple of years after I leave Madrid. I don't know yet. But, I want to wear a burka for a while.
Someday I want to own a hostel for homeless people. This could happen simultaneously with the pub but I think it would be cool to make friends with some homeless people like some of the ones I have now, and then invite them to come live with me in the hostel so they can find jobs and stop doing drugs and stuff.
(ps. i totally know these guys. they are homeless by "profession." Their signs say "for beer" "for wine" "for weed" and "for cocaine." They're actually pretty nice and have a dog. and a website. Check them out at www.lazybeggars.com. Any time we give them sandwiches they pull out a cardboard sign that says something like "for kind things" or something like that. I don't remember. Kelly?)
I think that's all for now.
okay.
Someday I want to own a pub and work in it and meet people. This will hopefully be in a european country and maybe in the U.K. although if it's in the U.K. no one will come because who goes to a pub run by an american? Maybe Greece. Or China. I don't know yet.
Someday I want to live on a houseboat in silence. Maybe in silence. I'd like people to come and have parties with me on my houseboat so maybe I'd just be silent when no one was there. At this time I would also like to fish for all my own food and maybe grow some vegetables on board. I think it would be cool to be able to be self sufficient for a while and not have to buy anything. Although I think I would want dsl on my boat. either that or I want to not have the internet and just read all the time.
Someday I want to read all the time.
Someday I want to learn how to fly planes. I would like to know how to build a plane and fly it but if I just have to settle for flying a plane that would be cool too. Not big planes, like little two person ones.
Someday I want to be a mechanic. I already know what a distributor cap is and I think I could change my own oil. But I think it would be cool to be able to fix cars.
Someday I want to have a potato farm. I want to grow potatoes and carrots and radishes and all kinds of things that you can't see the final product until you pull it out of the ground. That would be sweet. I hope my potato farm is in Ireland or Scotland, but I would settle for potatoes anywhere. I would also like a goat or a cow on my farm and maybe some chickens. Maybe a sheep or two. I would also have spare rooms here for people to come and visit and I would make these people good breakfasts. ( I have recently perfected the fried potato or homefry if you will. This may sound like no big deal or an easy thing to master but I consider myself a pretty good cook, and it isn't.)
Someday I want to have like nine kids but I think this one might not be able to happen in time for me to do all the other ones. Maybe it can be when I have the potato farm, but I need to get started on being married soon I think because I don't want to have a bunch of kids in my 40s. Maybe six kids would be good. Anyways, I want a whole gaggle of children at some point.
Someday I want to be a missionary in a closed Muslim country. This will involve learning Arabic which I have already started but have sort of stopped. I think this one will happen in the next couple of years after I leave Madrid. I don't know yet. But, I want to wear a burka for a while.
Someday I want to own a hostel for homeless people. This could happen simultaneously with the pub but I think it would be cool to make friends with some homeless people like some of the ones I have now, and then invite them to come live with me in the hostel so they can find jobs and stop doing drugs and stuff.
(ps. i totally know these guys. they are homeless by "profession." Their signs say "for beer" "for wine" "for weed" and "for cocaine." They're actually pretty nice and have a dog. and a website. Check them out at www.lazybeggars.com. Any time we give them sandwiches they pull out a cardboard sign that says something like "for kind things" or something like that. I don't remember. Kelly?)I think that's all for now.
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Some pictures from Paris
So Amy took some pictures in Paris- way more than I did because she has a digital camera- and here they are. I won't be posting mine for a while because they're on normal film and I still have to get them developed. Anyways, here are some good ones:
Eiffel Tower, of course.
Le Arc de Triumph (half french half english wooh)
Notre Dame cathedral
my shoes which are too big for me because on of my Freshmen gave me them and apparently when I walk I scuff them because I heard "stop scuffing your shoes" about 19 times. an hour.
By "travelator" they mean conveyor belt. Funny.
Me and the Dayton.
Some stained glass from Notre Dame.
Me probably telling Amy where we should go next.
That is all for now, someday I'll post more of them.
Eiffel Tower, of course.
Le Arc de Triumph (half french half english wooh)
Notre Dame cathedral
my shoes which are too big for me because on of my Freshmen gave me them and apparently when I walk I scuff them because I heard "stop scuffing your shoes" about 19 times. an hour.
By "travelator" they mean conveyor belt. Funny.
Me and the Dayton.
Some stained glass from Notre Dame.
Me probably telling Amy where we should go next.
That is all for now, someday I'll post more of them.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Beauty part deux
I just got back from visiting AMY DAYTON in Paris- so I had to share all the french I know- which is about "deux" which means two and I'm pretty sure that's all I know except for how to say "I don't speak French" which is Je ne parle pas frances (also probably not spelled right) but its prounounced Jeh Neh Pa"r"le Pa F"r"ancey. Or not. Whatever, French is ridiculous so back to my featured post.
Little Johnny Carlson asked me what I thought about my last post in relation to the beauty of Christ. [For all you other people: see what happens when you reply to my blogs?] So that's what I'm gonna write about in one moment.
*one moment*
I think that all good feelings and happy moments have something to do with our ability to experience God. That's what makes Earth different from Hell. Even people that don't know the Lord can still experience things that I (in my last post) called beautiful. I do believe all good things come from the Lord, who is the author of goodness and beauty. I think that creation is broken, it still bears the mark of its Creator. If it's more complicated than that I haven't figured it out yet.
I think I want to tie this in with evangelism. So here goes...
I think evangelism is most effective when we can point at things that people already think are beautiful and say THAT is from the Lord. The LORD made that. And that's why you feel what you feel and you can feel more of it if you just recognize that that's where it comes from. Not only will you feel more beauty, but the beauty you experience will become redeemed and perfect and pure and anything imperfect (STD's, withdrawal, depression...) that comes with something God made to be enjoyed (artistic expression, nature, sex, friends...) can be cast off of those experiences and you can experience God more fully. And that comes when we let God redeem us first and we get the Holy Spirit and then we see Beauty for who He really is. So let's all evangelize that way. In this postmodern society where people want to "feel" and "experience" stuff, it's important that we point to the source of feeling and beautiful experiences and tie it in with TRUTH. That's all I got. Not bad for a 20 minute post.
If you put an "l" in deux, you get delux.
Little Johnny Carlson asked me what I thought about my last post in relation to the beauty of Christ. [For all you other people: see what happens when you reply to my blogs?] So that's what I'm gonna write about in one moment.
*one moment*
I think that all good feelings and happy moments have something to do with our ability to experience God. That's what makes Earth different from Hell. Even people that don't know the Lord can still experience things that I (in my last post) called beautiful. I do believe all good things come from the Lord, who is the author of goodness and beauty. I think that creation is broken, it still bears the mark of its Creator. If it's more complicated than that I haven't figured it out yet.
I think I want to tie this in with evangelism. So here goes...
I think evangelism is most effective when we can point at things that people already think are beautiful and say THAT is from the Lord. The LORD made that. And that's why you feel what you feel and you can feel more of it if you just recognize that that's where it comes from. Not only will you feel more beauty, but the beauty you experience will become redeemed and perfect and pure and anything imperfect (STD's, withdrawal, depression...) that comes with something God made to be enjoyed (artistic expression, nature, sex, friends...) can be cast off of those experiences and you can experience God more fully. And that comes when we let God redeem us first and we get the Holy Spirit and then we see Beauty for who He really is. So let's all evangelize that way. In this postmodern society where people want to "feel" and "experience" stuff, it's important that we point to the source of feeling and beautiful experiences and tie it in with TRUTH. That's all I got. Not bad for a 20 minute post.
If you put an "l" in deux, you get delux.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Beauty
What is Beauty? I'm in this art history class "Art History of the Renaissance" and it's a question we haven't really asked. I mean, we talk about beauty all the time. We label things as beautiful and less beautiful than that more beautiful one, but what exactly is beauty?
I think it's interesting that you can't really teach someone what is beautiful, or what beauty really is, you just sort of have to show them. You have to show them one thing that is beautiful, and another thing that is beautiful and then you have to figure out what those two things have in common, and that equals beauty. And to add to the equation, beauty isn't just applicable to visual things. You can hear something and say "that sounds beautiful." I think beauty can also be applied to smells too. We might call them delicious or wonderful, but I think it's really that we've found something beautiful about it.
Why is it that some days I feel like I'm the most beautiful woman in the world and other days I feel like I am the literal antithesis of beauty?
You know what I think? I think beauty is an emotion.
I think that something is beautiful when it makes us feel something beautiful. I think when a smell makes us exhale faster just so we can breathe it in again, we feel beauty. I think that when you wish you didn't have to blink so that you could only behold something that much longer, we feel beauty. I think that when you press repeat on your ipod four times to celebrate what you are hearing once again, we feel beauty. I have trouble driving at night in the states when I'm home because I don't have two sets of eyes. It deeply frustrates me that I have to put my eyes back on the road when there are so many stars. That is beauty.
Have there ever been moments when you wanted to curse the fact that you had to eat or sleep or go to the bathroom because it paused or ended a beautiful moment? I think that's why heaven is so appealing.
Nothing will ever end that Beauty.
I think it's interesting that you can't really teach someone what is beautiful, or what beauty really is, you just sort of have to show them. You have to show them one thing that is beautiful, and another thing that is beautiful and then you have to figure out what those two things have in common, and that equals beauty. And to add to the equation, beauty isn't just applicable to visual things. You can hear something and say "that sounds beautiful." I think beauty can also be applied to smells too. We might call them delicious or wonderful, but I think it's really that we've found something beautiful about it.
Why is it that some days I feel like I'm the most beautiful woman in the world and other days I feel like I am the literal antithesis of beauty?
You know what I think? I think beauty is an emotion.
I think that something is beautiful when it makes us feel something beautiful. I think when a smell makes us exhale faster just so we can breathe it in again, we feel beauty. I think that when you wish you didn't have to blink so that you could only behold something that much longer, we feel beauty. I think that when you press repeat on your ipod four times to celebrate what you are hearing once again, we feel beauty. I have trouble driving at night in the states when I'm home because I don't have two sets of eyes. It deeply frustrates me that I have to put my eyes back on the road when there are so many stars. That is beauty.
Have there ever been moments when you wanted to curse the fact that you had to eat or sleep or go to the bathroom because it paused or ended a beautiful moment? I think that's why heaven is so appealing.
Nothing will ever end that Beauty.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
I can't come up with a good title.
These last two weeks have been among the busiest of my LIFE. I haven't gotten a free five minutes since I got to Spain. I am glad to be back though. This post isn't about anything in particular, I just feel like I should update you people (whoever you people are) on what's happining. I'm watching Mulan right now. Some day I'd like to go fight in a chinese army.
I'm going to Paris next weekend to visit my old small group leader from high school, Amy Dayton. I am STOKED. I'm hoping to take a lot of black and white pictures. I want to find a really good one of the Eiffle Tower and one of Notre Dame. And I want's some crepes. I'm really really excited. I'm feeling artsy.
So I went to Troy's Theater group on Monday. We read some lines out of 'night, Mother. It's a play about a girl who tells her mother she is going to commit suicide. It was really interesting but I didn't get to read the end. Lisa and this woman named Bea were there. They were both pretty good- but I felt kinda dumb; not because of anything anybody said or did, everyone was encouraging, but I'm really not that comfortable acting. It's weird. It doesn't come naturally to me at all. I thought I'd be good at it actually, because it's about pretending, and I always feel like I'm doing that in my head. But I also realized that to be good at it you sort of have to know how to evoke some emotion. I don't do emotion. I'm gonna go again next week hopefully with a friend or two that have the gift of emoting themselves... but I'm more interested in reading the plays than acting them out. Although, in Troy's defence, he's a good teacher and if anyone could teach me to act, I think it would be him.
Can I just say how much I like Madrid and Oasis and my life sometimes? I'm pretty stoked about it. I can't imagine never having given it over to God to run. I'd probably be working at IHOP.
I'm going to Paris next weekend to visit my old small group leader from high school, Amy Dayton. I am STOKED. I'm hoping to take a lot of black and white pictures. I want to find a really good one of the Eiffle Tower and one of Notre Dame. And I want's some crepes. I'm really really excited. I'm feeling artsy.
So I went to Troy's Theater group on Monday. We read some lines out of 'night, Mother. It's a play about a girl who tells her mother she is going to commit suicide. It was really interesting but I didn't get to read the end. Lisa and this woman named Bea were there. They were both pretty good- but I felt kinda dumb; not because of anything anybody said or did, everyone was encouraging, but I'm really not that comfortable acting. It's weird. It doesn't come naturally to me at all. I thought I'd be good at it actually, because it's about pretending, and I always feel like I'm doing that in my head. But I also realized that to be good at it you sort of have to know how to evoke some emotion. I don't do emotion. I'm gonna go again next week hopefully with a friend or two that have the gift of emoting themselves... but I'm more interested in reading the plays than acting them out. Although, in Troy's defence, he's a good teacher and if anyone could teach me to act, I think it would be him.
Can I just say how much I like Madrid and Oasis and my life sometimes? I'm pretty stoked about it. I can't imagine never having given it over to God to run. I'd probably be working at IHOP.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
The Date. Part III.
Part III. The Phone Call.
Sunday Night. Girl sleeps over Church Lady’s house. Church Lady has known both Boy and Girl since middle school and has discipled Girl for years. Church Lady knows “the Date” is a huge deal.
Girl wakes up with a knot in her stomach. Girl vows to never ask any boy out again ever.
Girl searches through her clothes and realizes that all of them are for summer camp and a missions trip to Mexico. GIRL HAS NOTHING TO WEAR ON DATE. Girl tries on Church Lady’s Daughters’ clothes and text messages pictures of herself to them with giant question marks. Girl tries on everything from skanky tube tops to prom dresses. Girl settles for orange shirt she already had in her suitcase and jeans.
Boy has told Girl that he will call her. Girl knows date is taking place tonight.
It is approaching three o’clock. Girl still doesn’t know when Boy is coming. This almost reminds Girl of Jesus preparing a place for her and she hopes her friends have enough oil and the dragon lady with the heads doesn’t devour the baby and golden gates of pearl....
Girl sits with her cell phone on one side of her and Church Lady’s house phone on the other side of her. Waiting.
Girl discusses with Daughters what time the Date will probably be and what the time means. 6:00 means friendy. 7:00 means datey.
Phone rings.
It is the first time Girl has ever talked to Boy on the phone. Girl stands up and paces the floor because who can talk to Boy sitting down? Plus she’s freaking out.
Boy informs Girl they are double dating with his Sister (other sister that the one Girl spent so much car time with.) and Boy’s Friend #1. Girl is a little relieved.
Boy tells Girl he was thinking about Benihana’s. Girl thinks of an episode of the Office where they go to a Japanese place where they cook the food right in front of you. “That Benihana’s?” Boy informs Girl “yeah.”
Boy asks Girl if 6:30 or 7:00 would be better.
Girl nonchalantly replies “um, seven?”
Boy and Girl chat for a minute then Boy interrupts Girl.
Boy: “Wait..um.. Can I start over?”
Girl: “What? Yeah?”
Boy: “Would you like to go out to dinner tonight with me?”
*Girl flips out inside, but plays it remarkably cool on the phone*
Girl: “Ha, YES!”
Boy and Girl chat a minute more then hang up. Girl has had successful phone conversation with Boy. Church Lady looks at Girl in expectation. Girl re-enacts phone conversation for Church Lady and she gasps and cheers in all the right places. So do Daughters.
Girl goes to take a shower and as she is jumping out, Girl’s awesome Roommate calls her from Spain. Roommate and Girl flip out. Roommate tries to calm Girl down but only succeeds in making her even more nervous even though Girl is greatly thankful for Roommate’s call.
Girl goes downstairs to wait for Boy.
Church Lady runs to the bathroom and informs Girl to not answer the door under any circumstance. Church Lady must open the door to greet Boy.
Girl sits on couch.
The doorbell rings.
Church Lady screams.
*sorry to those who thought this was the ending (Heather), there will be a fourth part. :-)*
Sunday Night. Girl sleeps over Church Lady’s house. Church Lady has known both Boy and Girl since middle school and has discipled Girl for years. Church Lady knows “the Date” is a huge deal.
Girl wakes up with a knot in her stomach. Girl vows to never ask any boy out again ever.
Girl searches through her clothes and realizes that all of them are for summer camp and a missions trip to Mexico. GIRL HAS NOTHING TO WEAR ON DATE. Girl tries on Church Lady’s Daughters’ clothes and text messages pictures of herself to them with giant question marks. Girl tries on everything from skanky tube tops to prom dresses. Girl settles for orange shirt she already had in her suitcase and jeans.
Boy has told Girl that he will call her. Girl knows date is taking place tonight.
It is approaching three o’clock. Girl still doesn’t know when Boy is coming. This almost reminds Girl of Jesus preparing a place for her and she hopes her friends have enough oil and the dragon lady with the heads doesn’t devour the baby and golden gates of pearl....
Girl sits with her cell phone on one side of her and Church Lady’s house phone on the other side of her. Waiting.
Girl discusses with Daughters what time the Date will probably be and what the time means. 6:00 means friendy. 7:00 means datey.
Phone rings.
It is the first time Girl has ever talked to Boy on the phone. Girl stands up and paces the floor because who can talk to Boy sitting down? Plus she’s freaking out.
Boy informs Girl they are double dating with his Sister (other sister that the one Girl spent so much car time with.) and Boy’s Friend #1. Girl is a little relieved.
Boy tells Girl he was thinking about Benihana’s. Girl thinks of an episode of the Office where they go to a Japanese place where they cook the food right in front of you. “That Benihana’s?” Boy informs Girl “yeah.”
Boy asks Girl if 6:30 or 7:00 would be better.
Girl nonchalantly replies “um, seven?”
Boy and Girl chat for a minute then Boy interrupts Girl.
Boy: “Wait..um.. Can I start over?”
Girl: “What? Yeah?”
Boy: “Would you like to go out to dinner tonight with me?”
*Girl flips out inside, but plays it remarkably cool on the phone*
Girl: “Ha, YES!”
Boy and Girl chat a minute more then hang up. Girl has had successful phone conversation with Boy. Church Lady looks at Girl in expectation. Girl re-enacts phone conversation for Church Lady and she gasps and cheers in all the right places. So do Daughters.
Girl goes to take a shower and as she is jumping out, Girl’s awesome Roommate calls her from Spain. Roommate and Girl flip out. Roommate tries to calm Girl down but only succeeds in making her even more nervous even though Girl is greatly thankful for Roommate’s call.
Girl goes downstairs to wait for Boy.
Church Lady runs to the bathroom and informs Girl to not answer the door under any circumstance. Church Lady must open the door to greet Boy.
Girl sits on couch.
The doorbell rings.
Church Lady screams.
*sorry to those who thought this was the ending (Heather), there will be a fourth part. :-)*
Monday, August 20, 2007
The Date. Part II.
Part II. The Email
Girl emails Boy to inform him that she will be in his vicinity between Summer Camp and Missions Trip for two days. Girl goes off to Summer Camp before hearing from Boy.
Girl is at Summer Camp with all of Boy’s friends and Boy’s Sister.
Everyone knows.
Boy’s Sister upon seeing Girl smiles a “I know what you did” smile. Girl hides behind Bible.
Boy’s Sister informs Girl not to worry and that Boy is “excited.” Girl feels a little better but still like a moron.
After multiple days, Girl musters up the courage to check her email. Boy has emailed Girl. It says so in the Inbox. Girl opens email. Boy asks Girl if double date is okay the Monday after she gets back from Summer Camp. Girl flips out and runs to Boy’s friends, who are also Girl’s friends, to inform them of the successful email conveyance of information.
Girl: “He emailed me back!”
Boy’s Friend #1: “Monday Night?”
Girl: “WHAT?!”
Boy’s Friend #1: “And I already know where you’re going.”
Boy’s Friend #1 leans over to Friend-Boy who conveniently left Girl to talk to Boy in Part 1 of the Date Saga and whispers in his ear.
Friend-Boy: “Nice place. I’m totally gonna show up on your date.”
Girl: “I’ll murder you and your family.”
Girl realizes everyone knows much more about this date than she does. Friggin’ idiots.
Sunday day. Girl rides home from Myrtle Beach to Northern Virginia (9 hours) with Boy’s sister. Girl tries to make funny jokes so it gets back to Boy she is funny. Girl is also a friggin’ idiot.
Part III "The Date" yet to come.
Girl emails Boy to inform him that she will be in his vicinity between Summer Camp and Missions Trip for two days. Girl goes off to Summer Camp before hearing from Boy.
Girl is at Summer Camp with all of Boy’s friends and Boy’s Sister.
Everyone knows.
Boy’s Sister upon seeing Girl smiles a “I know what you did” smile. Girl hides behind Bible.
Boy’s Sister informs Girl not to worry and that Boy is “excited.” Girl feels a little better but still like a moron.
After multiple days, Girl musters up the courage to check her email. Boy has emailed Girl. It says so in the Inbox. Girl opens email. Boy asks Girl if double date is okay the Monday after she gets back from Summer Camp. Girl flips out and runs to Boy’s friends, who are also Girl’s friends, to inform them of the successful email conveyance of information.
Girl: “He emailed me back!”
Boy’s Friend #1: “Monday Night?”
Girl: “WHAT?!”
Boy’s Friend #1: “And I already know where you’re going.”
Boy’s Friend #1 leans over to Friend-Boy who conveniently left Girl to talk to Boy in Part 1 of the Date Saga and whispers in his ear.
Friend-Boy: “Nice place. I’m totally gonna show up on your date.”
Girl: “I’ll murder you and your family.”
Girl realizes everyone knows much more about this date than she does. Friggin’ idiots.
Sunday day. Girl rides home from Myrtle Beach to Northern Virginia (9 hours) with Boy’s sister. Girl tries to make funny jokes so it gets back to Boy she is funny. Girl is also a friggin’ idiot.
Part III "The Date" yet to come.
The Date.
Although a little later than I intended, here it is, The Date story as promised.
Part I. The Question
Eighth Grade. Girl meets Boy. Boy is cute. Girl likes Boy.
Eighth grade through Junior year in college. Girl likes Boy. Boy is still cute. Girl doesn’t talk to Boy much, maybe once a year at camp, and Girl gets distracted every so often by other boys. However, Boy remains backup and underlying distraction to Girl.
This summer. June. Girl goes to mall with Girlfriends and is hanging out at the foodcourt. Girlfriends are intimately familiar with Girl’s fellings toward Boy. One Girlfriend who thinks she’s funny says “LOOK! Is that Boy??” Girl politely informs Girlfriend to shut it and “you’re not even funny.” Girl turns around to see Boy standing across the food court. Girl gets butterflies.
Girl with Girlfriends approaches Boy. Boy says hi to everyone but mostly looks at Girl making her face the color of Tammy Faye’s lips. Girl says bye and kicks herself for not asking for Boy’s phone number. Girl can’t concentrate for two days.
The next night. Girlfriends kidnap Girl and drive past Boy’s house. Girl screams in backseat and hides. Girl lies on Girlfriend’s very plush lawn with Girlfriends, giggles, and laments over her lack of guts to ask Boy out. (Girl knows Boy is afraid of girls and will never ask Girl himself.) Girlfriends think it’s funny to find his picture in their yearbooks and show them to Girl.
The next morning. Sunday. Girl goes to church. In church of 10,000 people, Girl is fully prepared and expecting to not even see Boy. Girl walks in. Boy is standing right there talking to mutual Friend-Boy who knows of Girl’s infatuation. Friend-boy thinks it’s funny to leave Girl to talk to Boy alone.
During Boy’s midsentence about whatever he was talking about, Girl interrupts with “I have two questions”
Girl: “I have two questions.”
Boy: “Uh huh”
Girl: “Do you have a girlfriend?”
*Completely ininterpretable look. Literally a look that a mind reader couldn’t figure out. I’m serious.*
Boy: “Um, no.”
*Weird smirk? Nervous smile? Scared look of pain????? I DON’T KNOW!”*
Girl takes deep breath and realizes she is literally getting dizzy.
Girl: “Blah Blah date Blah Blah imanidiot Blah sometime?”
Boy: “Sure.”
*Awkward Silence*
Boy: “Do you have like a number or something?”
Girl: “No.”
(I’m not exaggerating.)
*More Silence*
Girl loses ability to form words.
Girl: “Blah Don’t Blah Blah cellphone Blah mom’s Blah no charger Blah Blah have.”
Girl realizes what’s happening and that she lives 6 hours away from Boy.
Girl: “Can I email you to tell you when I’m gonna be up here?”
Boy: “Sure. Maybe we can catch a movie or something.”
Girl: “Okay. Bye”
Girl literally runs away. Seriously.
That afternoon Girl drives home five hours with nothing but her thoughts.
Stay tuned for Part II. "The Email."
Part I. The Question
Eighth Grade. Girl meets Boy. Boy is cute. Girl likes Boy.
Eighth grade through Junior year in college. Girl likes Boy. Boy is still cute. Girl doesn’t talk to Boy much, maybe once a year at camp, and Girl gets distracted every so often by other boys. However, Boy remains backup and underlying distraction to Girl.
This summer. June. Girl goes to mall with Girlfriends and is hanging out at the foodcourt. Girlfriends are intimately familiar with Girl’s fellings toward Boy. One Girlfriend who thinks she’s funny says “LOOK! Is that Boy??” Girl politely informs Girlfriend to shut it and “you’re not even funny.” Girl turns around to see Boy standing across the food court. Girl gets butterflies.
Girl with Girlfriends approaches Boy. Boy says hi to everyone but mostly looks at Girl making her face the color of Tammy Faye’s lips. Girl says bye and kicks herself for not asking for Boy’s phone number. Girl can’t concentrate for two days.
The next night. Girlfriends kidnap Girl and drive past Boy’s house. Girl screams in backseat and hides. Girl lies on Girlfriend’s very plush lawn with Girlfriends, giggles, and laments over her lack of guts to ask Boy out. (Girl knows Boy is afraid of girls and will never ask Girl himself.) Girlfriends think it’s funny to find his picture in their yearbooks and show them to Girl.
The next morning. Sunday. Girl goes to church. In church of 10,000 people, Girl is fully prepared and expecting to not even see Boy. Girl walks in. Boy is standing right there talking to mutual Friend-Boy who knows of Girl’s infatuation. Friend-boy thinks it’s funny to leave Girl to talk to Boy alone.
During Boy’s midsentence about whatever he was talking about, Girl interrupts with “I have two questions”
Girl: “I have two questions.”
Boy: “Uh huh”
Girl: “Do you have a girlfriend?”
*Completely ininterpretable look. Literally a look that a mind reader couldn’t figure out. I’m serious.*
Boy: “Um, no.”
*Weird smirk? Nervous smile? Scared look of pain????? I DON’T KNOW!”*
Girl takes deep breath and realizes she is literally getting dizzy.
Girl: “Blah Blah date Blah Blah imanidiot Blah sometime?”
Boy: “Sure.”
*Awkward Silence*
Boy: “Do you have like a number or something?”
Girl: “No.”
(I’m not exaggerating.)
*More Silence*
Girl loses ability to form words.
Girl: “Blah Don’t Blah Blah cellphone Blah mom’s Blah no charger Blah Blah have.”
Girl realizes what’s happening and that she lives 6 hours away from Boy.
Girl: “Can I email you to tell you when I’m gonna be up here?”
Boy: “Sure. Maybe we can catch a movie or something.”
Girl: “Okay. Bye”
Girl literally runs away. Seriously.
That afternoon Girl drives home five hours with nothing but her thoughts.
Stay tuned for Part II. "The Email."
Saturday, August 04, 2007
babysitting
I love sitting on babies. Here's another picture of my nephew. It's friday night and apparently, this is all I'm good for.
Monday, July 16, 2007
My sister and the bebe
So, my sister, Kaylee, just had a baby, Malaki. He is very very cute. I have pictures here of her baby shower, which I was going to write about, but I don't really feel like it, so I wont, lots of commas. So, I'll let the pictures speak for themselves. Let me take you on a journey, if you will, through digital imagery.
Friday, July 13, 2007
The Dearly Departed part 2
I'm going to continue with my regularly scheduled broadcast even though my sister just had her baby!!! I'll give you all the details that I have right now. I'm in New Jersey so I haven't yet seen the little tyke, so we'll all just have to wait for pictures and such. All I have for now is that his name is Malaki Tyler Pitkin and he was born July 12th at 3:26 pm. He weighed 6lbs 5oz and my mom says he's healthy as a little baby horsey. My sister had to have an emergency c-section, but she's recovering fine. I can't wait to see him!! I'm an AUNT!!
Anyways, that seems a bizarre first paragraph to open up this post about my late friend Joey Burch. However, I haven't given his memory justice and I haven't really ever talked about his death to anyone. However weird, I feel like now that I've resolved to just get it over with, I can't put it off any longer, especially because I have no more details than a paragraph's worth about my nephew.
So, to begin. Joey Burch was in my sister's grade. I knew his older brother because he was a year younger than me in school and they went to one of my elementary schools in Virginia. I watched Joey grow up alongside my sister. I remember him as this:
He was seriously the funniest kid I ever met. He was constantly making jokes, constantly messing around, but never really causing trouble. He was really a good kid. He was a freshman in highschool when I left for college and I didn't really ever see him after that, maybe once or twice, but from what I remember then, he was excited about the Lord as well. I went to his youth group every so often because it was close to my house, and I remember him worshiping the Lord.
My friend Phoebe called me one day last summer and told me that Joey had been in a car crash near where I used to live and that he had died. I was shocked. My first reaction was, why Joey? I didn't feel like Joey was expendible enough to be taken that early. Maybe it's because I knew him or that I valued his presence and I knew that other people felt the same. When Joey was in the room, you knew he was there. I thought, surely God would want to keep someone like that around. He was the pastor's son! Surely God had a plan for this kid. Before that, anyone I had known that had died had been old or, forgive me, more boring than Joey Burch.
It was the first time that I realized that I'm not any different than Joey. I really could die tomorrow even though men have made great plans for me. I sometimes think that there's no way I could die before I'm eighty because God has blessed me with a strange uniqueness and that there is no one else like me out there. Then I remember Joey. There is no one like him and the world has suffered a loss. He and his brother Ben were very close and I can't imagine losing my sister. Please pray for Joey's parents and Ben, especially as the one year anniversary of his brother's death, August 5th, approaches. I can't wait to see Joey again and I'm curious to see how his sense of humor has been divinely perfected.
Anyways, that seems a bizarre first paragraph to open up this post about my late friend Joey Burch. However, I haven't given his memory justice and I haven't really ever talked about his death to anyone. However weird, I feel like now that I've resolved to just get it over with, I can't put it off any longer, especially because I have no more details than a paragraph's worth about my nephew.
So, to begin. Joey Burch was in my sister's grade. I knew his older brother because he was a year younger than me in school and they went to one of my elementary schools in Virginia. I watched Joey grow up alongside my sister. I remember him as this:
He was seriously the funniest kid I ever met. He was constantly making jokes, constantly messing around, but never really causing trouble. He was really a good kid. He was a freshman in highschool when I left for college and I didn't really ever see him after that, maybe once or twice, but from what I remember then, he was excited about the Lord as well. I went to his youth group every so often because it was close to my house, and I remember him worshiping the Lord.
My friend Phoebe called me one day last summer and told me that Joey had been in a car crash near where I used to live and that he had died. I was shocked. My first reaction was, why Joey? I didn't feel like Joey was expendible enough to be taken that early. Maybe it's because I knew him or that I valued his presence and I knew that other people felt the same. When Joey was in the room, you knew he was there. I thought, surely God would want to keep someone like that around. He was the pastor's son! Surely God had a plan for this kid. Before that, anyone I had known that had died had been old or, forgive me, more boring than Joey Burch.
It was the first time that I realized that I'm not any different than Joey. I really could die tomorrow even though men have made great plans for me. I sometimes think that there's no way I could die before I'm eighty because God has blessed me with a strange uniqueness and that there is no one else like me out there. Then I remember Joey. There is no one like him and the world has suffered a loss. He and his brother Ben were very close and I can't imagine losing my sister. Please pray for Joey's parents and Ben, especially as the one year anniversary of his brother's death, August 5th, approaches. I can't wait to see Joey again and I'm curious to see how his sense of humor has been divinely perfected.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
The Dearly Departed part 1
One of the youth group pastors I had in middle school right after I became a Christian was Dave Cho. He was a really funny Asian guy who was reknowned for his practical joking and Asian jokes. He was a good pastor though. This last semester I found out that he had cancer and that he only had like two months to live. I prayed like everyone else, not really expecting him to die, after all, he had a baby on the way. His fifth child was born just days after he died.
His funeral was supposed to be the day that his wife, Shelbie, had her baby. I was going to miss the funeral because I was at the beach, but because Shelbie was in labor, they postponed the funeral for a little over a week.
I got home on a Friday and on the following Wednesday I drove up to Virginia and I met some of my closest friends under what I wish were different circumstances. It was a bittersweet day. I saw a lot of people I haven't seen in years and was feeling a little guilty because I was enjoying the chance to see so many people I missed in such close proximity. I think funerals suck that way. Why can't we all just get together every so often?
David Cho was a godly man and a godly father, husband and pastor. There were hundreds of people at his funeral. The ripple effect that this man's life had on his community was insane. There were people there from California. There were people who stood up and talked about how Dave brought them to know the Lord and now they were in positions of influence and were still inspired by his passion. His wife didn't speak because she couldn't, but she wrote a letter to everyone about the kind of father and husband that Dave was. I almost lost it. Because Dave knew he was going to die, he recorded a video to be played at his funeral. You can watch it- it's an awesome testimony to never-ending joy in any circumstance. I highly recommend it even if you have no idea who this guy is.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qly_9HETHhs&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fdavidchoproject%2Ecom%2F
I look forward to catching up with Dave someday and I can only hope that my life has as much impact as his still does. Take a minute and pray for his wife Shelbie and his five kids- Abigail (6), Samantha (4), David Jr. (3), Charis (2) and Liam (about a month old.
His funeral was supposed to be the day that his wife, Shelbie, had her baby. I was going to miss the funeral because I was at the beach, but because Shelbie was in labor, they postponed the funeral for a little over a week.
I got home on a Friday and on the following Wednesday I drove up to Virginia and I met some of my closest friends under what I wish were different circumstances. It was a bittersweet day. I saw a lot of people I haven't seen in years and was feeling a little guilty because I was enjoying the chance to see so many people I missed in such close proximity. I think funerals suck that way. Why can't we all just get together every so often?
David Cho was a godly man and a godly father, husband and pastor. There were hundreds of people at his funeral. The ripple effect that this man's life had on his community was insane. There were people there from California. There were people who stood up and talked about how Dave brought them to know the Lord and now they were in positions of influence and were still inspired by his passion. His wife didn't speak because she couldn't, but she wrote a letter to everyone about the kind of father and husband that Dave was. I almost lost it. Because Dave knew he was going to die, he recorded a video to be played at his funeral. You can watch it- it's an awesome testimony to never-ending joy in any circumstance. I highly recommend it even if you have no idea who this guy is.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qly_9HETHhs&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fdavidchoproject%2Ecom%2F
I look forward to catching up with Dave someday and I can only hope that my life has as much impact as his still does. Take a minute and pray for his wife Shelbie and his five kids- Abigail (6), Samantha (4), David Jr. (3), Charis (2) and Liam (about a month old.
Monday, July 09, 2007
Things to come...
Okay guys, get ready.
A LOT of stuff has happened since I've gotten home. And by a lot I mean...
A funeral, a wedding, a babyshower, a first date, summer camp at the beach, a trip to Mexico, a wedding, a broken record, new worries, spiritual development, and a new brother-in-law.
That's only the big stuff. So, for the next two weeks while I'm up here in New Jersey, I will be filling you all in on all the oh-so-very exciting events in my very exciting life. But alas, not today. This is my short intro blog. Say hi short intro blog.
"Hi."
Now that you've all become aquainted, please stay tuned for what I'd like to call "The Here-you-go-you-bunch-of-nosies Series."
And now a word from our sponsors:
A LOT of stuff has happened since I've gotten home. And by a lot I mean...
A funeral, a wedding, a babyshower, a first date, summer camp at the beach, a trip to Mexico, a wedding, a broken record, new worries, spiritual development, and a new brother-in-law.
That's only the big stuff. So, for the next two weeks while I'm up here in New Jersey, I will be filling you all in on all the oh-so-very exciting events in my very exciting life. But alas, not today. This is my short intro blog. Say hi short intro blog.
"Hi."
Now that you've all become aquainted, please stay tuned for what I'd like to call "The Here-you-go-you-bunch-of-nosies Series."
And now a word from our sponsors:
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Heather tagged me...
Okay, I'm supposed to post eight random things about myself. Are you ready for this?
1. The only food I crave when I'm in Spain that I can't get here is chicken parmesan subs.
2. Before the last three new Harry Potters have come out, I've re-read the entire series of them, and I plan on doing it again before the last one!
3. When I was little I did baton-cheerleading lessons. I still have my trophy.
4. My favorite drink is unsweetened iced tea.
5. I'm gonna be a bridesmaid in two weddings in the next year- the first two weddings of friends my age.
6. I tried to patent and invention I made and it almost worked. I tried to patent it under new inventions and I should have patented it under improvements on older inventions. I could have redone it but patenting things is expensive, even genious things.
7. I learned to say my alphabet by the time I was 18 months old. I was a child prodegy but stuff caught up in the end and now I'm the same as everybody else.
8. Someday I want to own a pub, live on a houseboat, fly planes, be a missionary in a closed Muslim country, and own a hostel for homeless people. These don't all have to happen at the same time, but I'll let you know as I cross them off my list.
1. The only food I crave when I'm in Spain that I can't get here is chicken parmesan subs.
2. Before the last three new Harry Potters have come out, I've re-read the entire series of them, and I plan on doing it again before the last one!
3. When I was little I did baton-cheerleading lessons. I still have my trophy.
4. My favorite drink is unsweetened iced tea.
5. I'm gonna be a bridesmaid in two weddings in the next year- the first two weddings of friends my age.
6. I tried to patent and invention I made and it almost worked. I tried to patent it under new inventions and I should have patented it under improvements on older inventions. I could have redone it but patenting things is expensive, even genious things.
7. I learned to say my alphabet by the time I was 18 months old. I was a child prodegy but stuff caught up in the end and now I'm the same as everybody else.
8. Someday I want to own a pub, live on a houseboat, fly planes, be a missionary in a closed Muslim country, and own a hostel for homeless people. These don't all have to happen at the same time, but I'll let you know as I cross them off my list.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Bad Day
Disclaimer: This is all part of my new trying-to-be-open-and-honest phase and stop-trying-to-look-sane attitude, so if fury an insanity scare you, skip the following:
I am having a bad day today. I was supposed to go to the beach but God made it clear to me he doesn't want me there through enough ways that I'm not there right now. I feel like a whiny five year old who's about to throw a tantrum because things really aren't going my way lately. Honestly, I feel like I've earned the right to throw a tantrum and that slamming a door or two right now would be completely justified.
And God doesn't seem to want to just tell me what's going on lately. It's like he has this "plan" and he won't share every detail with me. What the heck.
I found out today one of my middle school youth pastors has two months to live and his wife is pregnant with their third baby that is due in a month. That's insane. It's also not fair. It kind of makes me feel like a jerk that I am annoyed that I don't have the money to go to the beach. Seeing things in perspective, I don't have the right to be annoyed about anything ever, which makes me feel like what I'm feeling is stupid which makes it worse.
I didn't really talk about this at all when it happened, but last summer a good friend of mine died. He was 17, my sister's age. I was good friends with his brother- he was the cutest kid. I'm still really upset that he died, and I still haven't really processed that.
I'm going on month 13 of no crying. That's frustrating too because I feel like most of what's happening right now in life is cry-worthy and the fact that I haven't wept over any of it makes me feel calloused and more of a jerk. I feel like if I start crying about stuff I'll open the proverbial floodgates and be a basketcase for about a month. Today and tomorrow were supposed to be days where I let these things just sink in and sit and let the last couple of months catch up with me- I don't think that's actually gonna happen.
I'm also really arbitrarily angry at my dad lately. If there was one time in my whole life that I need him to come through it's right now. And a word out there to all fathers or future fathers or even uncles: If you let your daughter graduate highschool without having convinced her that you think she is the most beautiful creature on earth, you have failed. She'll never think she's beautiful and she'll never believe any guy that tells her she is regardless of whether she is or not. That is your job- that's what fathers are supposed to do. So, if I find out any of your daughters get screwed up because you were a jerk, I'm coming after you.
My dad also thinks it's appropriate lately to call my mom and get her to talk him out of committing suicide. He called her the other day and told her he's going swimming in the Long Island Sound and he might try to just swim to Connecticut. I told her to tell him to swallow his I.D. so they'll know who he is when they find his body. This is the way the Stembokases handle their crap. We let things get so overwhelming that we just throw up our hands and go, I need to go to the beach. Only I wasn't going to swim away. As alarming as it is that my dad threatens to drive off bridges because nobody loves him, none of us take him seriously because he's never followed through with anything in his life; which is also another Stembokas trait that I have inherited, which is also another point of frustration. I have all these plans and aspirations and goals, some of which I've had since middle school, that I've never accomplished and I've gotten to the point where I now expect that anything I set out to do wont happen. I can only accomplish impulsive rash things that I decide to do in two seconds. But if I decide to do it and it takes longer than a day to accomplish, forget about it. Forget about steps or small goals or long processes. I don't have the stamina or the patience to see anything through. Marriage and childrearing should be interesting.
I think that's all for today folks...
Sorry all my blog posts have been whiney and all about me lately, but it's my blog so I'll write what I want.
I am having a bad day today. I was supposed to go to the beach but God made it clear to me he doesn't want me there through enough ways that I'm not there right now. I feel like a whiny five year old who's about to throw a tantrum because things really aren't going my way lately. Honestly, I feel like I've earned the right to throw a tantrum and that slamming a door or two right now would be completely justified.
And God doesn't seem to want to just tell me what's going on lately. It's like he has this "plan" and he won't share every detail with me. What the heck.
I found out today one of my middle school youth pastors has two months to live and his wife is pregnant with their third baby that is due in a month. That's insane. It's also not fair. It kind of makes me feel like a jerk that I am annoyed that I don't have the money to go to the beach. Seeing things in perspective, I don't have the right to be annoyed about anything ever, which makes me feel like what I'm feeling is stupid which makes it worse.
I didn't really talk about this at all when it happened, but last summer a good friend of mine died. He was 17, my sister's age. I was good friends with his brother- he was the cutest kid. I'm still really upset that he died, and I still haven't really processed that.
I'm going on month 13 of no crying. That's frustrating too because I feel like most of what's happening right now in life is cry-worthy and the fact that I haven't wept over any of it makes me feel calloused and more of a jerk. I feel like if I start crying about stuff I'll open the proverbial floodgates and be a basketcase for about a month. Today and tomorrow were supposed to be days where I let these things just sink in and sit and let the last couple of months catch up with me- I don't think that's actually gonna happen.
I'm also really arbitrarily angry at my dad lately. If there was one time in my whole life that I need him to come through it's right now. And a word out there to all fathers or future fathers or even uncles: If you let your daughter graduate highschool without having convinced her that you think she is the most beautiful creature on earth, you have failed. She'll never think she's beautiful and she'll never believe any guy that tells her she is regardless of whether she is or not. That is your job- that's what fathers are supposed to do. So, if I find out any of your daughters get screwed up because you were a jerk, I'm coming after you.
My dad also thinks it's appropriate lately to call my mom and get her to talk him out of committing suicide. He called her the other day and told her he's going swimming in the Long Island Sound and he might try to just swim to Connecticut. I told her to tell him to swallow his I.D. so they'll know who he is when they find his body. This is the way the Stembokases handle their crap. We let things get so overwhelming that we just throw up our hands and go, I need to go to the beach. Only I wasn't going to swim away. As alarming as it is that my dad threatens to drive off bridges because nobody loves him, none of us take him seriously because he's never followed through with anything in his life; which is also another Stembokas trait that I have inherited, which is also another point of frustration. I have all these plans and aspirations and goals, some of which I've had since middle school, that I've never accomplished and I've gotten to the point where I now expect that anything I set out to do wont happen. I can only accomplish impulsive rash things that I decide to do in two seconds. But if I decide to do it and it takes longer than a day to accomplish, forget about it. Forget about steps or small goals or long processes. I don't have the stamina or the patience to see anything through. Marriage and childrearing should be interesting.
I think that's all for today folks...
Sorry all my blog posts have been whiney and all about me lately, but it's my blog so I'll write what I want.
Monday, May 07, 2007
Saturday, May 05, 2007
word vomit
I was born in New York and I lived in two or three different houses there. When I was four I moved to North Carolina to this brick house that the only thing I remember about was the backyard. Then when my mom threw my dad out we moved into a trailer in a trailerpark in another town. Then after a while we found an apartment above a barber shop- that's where I went to kindergarden. Then after that we moved into an apartment building in another town (another school for me) and my grandma moved in with us for a while. Then, when I had just turned eight (third grade), my parents decided to give it another go because we couldn't afford rent where we were so a little before Christmas I moved away from North Carolina to New York. We were in New York for three months before things went south and I finished off my third grade year in Northern Virginia while living at my grandpa's house.[so that's three different schools, states and houses during third grade if you're keeping track] The next school year I went to a different elementary school than the one in third grade because the other one was full. We moved again the summer of fourth grade to our first house with a yard. I went to a different school in fifth grade. Sixth grade started middle school, so again, I was in a different school and making different friends. In eighth grade we moved again and I went to highschool in ninth grade- granted, same friends, but different town. The summer I graduated highschool my family moved about 20 minutes away, to a new town, and my sister went to a new school. I was in our apartment for two days before I went to college in Spain for the first time. During my whole first semester at school here, I had no idea what our furniture would look like or anything because my family finished moving in while I was on the plane. That freshman Christmas I came home to a house I didn't recognize, an address I couldn't remember, and a phone number none of my friends had. I spent my freshman summer there too, interning with my church. In the beginning of my sophomore year my family moved again to a different town, phone number, house, you name it. I spent Christmas in a new house again. In the spring of my sophomore year my mom and sister made a big move down to North Carolina- this time without me. I mean, I had a room there and stuff but it was the first time I came home to a house I had never seen before to a room I had never slept in and to a town I didn't recognize. My family's been there for about a year now.
All this to say, I'm getting a little stir crazy now that I've been in Madrid for so long and I've had the same friends for three years and they all know all my crap. Today at church I told even more people my crap. You know what? I don't feel any better about things. I feel like I wanna jump on a plane and go anywhere but here. I've been conditioned to feel that way- just look at how I grew up. My reaction upon arriving back to my room after church was "man, why the heck do I talk so much?! Why can't I just keep my flipping mouth shut. I HAVE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE."
I know why I can't keep my flipping mouth shut. Because neither my mom or dad can keep their flipping mouths shut. I come from a family of talkers. It's their fault. It's genetic.
The Lord asked me to do something hard today, and I did it. What's even harder though is doing things with no visible reward and not seeing any benefit at all. You just humiliate yourself in front of thirty people because you want to love Jesus more and you don't even know what that means.
I want something, anything to be different- like to be able to worship more truthfully or to be able to share my faith with a new courage or to be able to hear God's voice more clearly. But instead I just feel weird. And I know it was encouraging for other people and I get a chance to experience grace- not that that stuff isn't important- I just really want to get on a plane and get out of here. It doesn't help that I just had a soda and popcorn for dinner and then a brownie and I've had a lot of sugar today so I'm jittery and I have this headache and bleheihegaek. Life is flipping complicated but at the same time it's so simple. And now, I'm not making any sense so I'm just going to stop typing.
All this to say, I'm getting a little stir crazy now that I've been in Madrid for so long and I've had the same friends for three years and they all know all my crap. Today at church I told even more people my crap. You know what? I don't feel any better about things. I feel like I wanna jump on a plane and go anywhere but here. I've been conditioned to feel that way- just look at how I grew up. My reaction upon arriving back to my room after church was "man, why the heck do I talk so much?! Why can't I just keep my flipping mouth shut. I HAVE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE."
I know why I can't keep my flipping mouth shut. Because neither my mom or dad can keep their flipping mouths shut. I come from a family of talkers. It's their fault. It's genetic.
The Lord asked me to do something hard today, and I did it. What's even harder though is doing things with no visible reward and not seeing any benefit at all. You just humiliate yourself in front of thirty people because you want to love Jesus more and you don't even know what that means.
I want something, anything to be different- like to be able to worship more truthfully or to be able to share my faith with a new courage or to be able to hear God's voice more clearly. But instead I just feel weird. And I know it was encouraging for other people and I get a chance to experience grace- not that that stuff isn't important- I just really want to get on a plane and get out of here. It doesn't help that I just had a soda and popcorn for dinner and then a brownie and I've had a lot of sugar today so I'm jittery and I have this headache and bleheihegaek. Life is flipping complicated but at the same time it's so simple. And now, I'm not making any sense so I'm just going to stop typing.
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Ants
I'm having one of those weeks where I feel like I'm watching myself from afar and I can see every single little thing that I do wrong. I feel like every one of my actions is under deep scrutinization by someone with a giant magnifying class. I feel like an ant. I feel there's a beam of white hot light following me everywhere and that I'm cringing in front of it like a kid that know's she's about to get spanked. You know how kids will sort of arch their backs, shoulders up and go "imsorryimsorryimsorryIMSORRYIMSORRY..." That's what I feel like. Except for I'm the ant and the kid with the magnifying glass at the same time. I don't know how that works, but whatever.
Other people don't see these personality flaws that I do because they're deep and usually I come across as a "good person." I hate that phrase. But anyways, I feel like the longer I'm a Christian, the more Christlike I become, but at the same time, the more I notice how deep my sinful nature actually is. It's sort of a paradox. I'm getting better but at the same time I'm seeing how much farther I have to go before being "perfect." It's like I'm walking up this mountain and as I walk up I can more accurately see how high it is. When I started I didn't think I was that far away because the mountain looked small in the distance. Now that I'm on it and walking up, I'm making progress but I realize now that I'll never get there. But I keep going. What am I, insane?
There are also these onlooker ants. And to them, I'm getting higher and higher up the hill and they see me as being so far up the hill I don't have to go any farther. They'd think I was nuts if I told them I have farther to go. They are so far away that, to them, it looks like I'm at the top already. Isn't that weird? But the hill is still so high up.
Then there's God. There's always God, and that get's complicated to throw Him in the mix. He likes that I'm still climbing up the hill and he tells me to keep climing up the hill, because He's at the top, but He's also walking with me up the hill and I couldn't walk up the hill or even be ON the hill if He didn't let me, but every time that magnifying glass starts to singe the hairs off my .. He's like, put the magnifying glass away and I'm like, I can't get up the hill without it because if I don't have it then I don't know which way's up and He's like you're already at the top of the hill and I'm like what the heck are you talking about, don't you see how much farther up there is and He's like yeah I do, it's pretty far, and I'm like but you said I'm at the top and He's like, you are and then I'm like which one is it Troy, then Troy... I mean, the pastor ant, is like "yes" and I'm like AHHHHHH.
Then my old roomate ant is like "Grace!" and I'm like "shut up! Kel.. I mean you stinky ant!" (not that the ant stinks, she smells quite nice, it's just a metaphor) and then I'm left crispy and tired on the mountain looking down and not seeing that much distance and looking up and seeing no end and looking around and seeing other ants that see the distances differently and they look to me like they're all above or below me on the mountain but the Big Ant says that we're all in the same place.
*gasping for air*
Being an ant is complicated.
Other people don't see these personality flaws that I do because they're deep and usually I come across as a "good person." I hate that phrase. But anyways, I feel like the longer I'm a Christian, the more Christlike I become, but at the same time, the more I notice how deep my sinful nature actually is. It's sort of a paradox. I'm getting better but at the same time I'm seeing how much farther I have to go before being "perfect." It's like I'm walking up this mountain and as I walk up I can more accurately see how high it is. When I started I didn't think I was that far away because the mountain looked small in the distance. Now that I'm on it and walking up, I'm making progress but I realize now that I'll never get there. But I keep going. What am I, insane?
There are also these onlooker ants. And to them, I'm getting higher and higher up the hill and they see me as being so far up the hill I don't have to go any farther. They'd think I was nuts if I told them I have farther to go. They are so far away that, to them, it looks like I'm at the top already. Isn't that weird? But the hill is still so high up.
Then there's God. There's always God, and that get's complicated to throw Him in the mix. He likes that I'm still climbing up the hill and he tells me to keep climing up the hill, because He's at the top, but He's also walking with me up the hill and I couldn't walk up the hill or even be ON the hill if He didn't let me, but every time that magnifying glass starts to singe the hairs off my .. He's like, put the magnifying glass away and I'm like, I can't get up the hill without it because if I don't have it then I don't know which way's up and He's like you're already at the top of the hill and I'm like what the heck are you talking about, don't you see how much farther up there is and He's like yeah I do, it's pretty far, and I'm like but you said I'm at the top and He's like, you are and then I'm like which one is it Troy, then Troy... I mean, the pastor ant, is like "yes" and I'm like AHHHHHH.
Then my old roomate ant is like "Grace!" and I'm like "shut up! Kel.. I mean you stinky ant!" (not that the ant stinks, she smells quite nice, it's just a metaphor) and then I'm left crispy and tired on the mountain looking down and not seeing that much distance and looking up and seeing no end and looking around and seeing other ants that see the distances differently and they look to me like they're all above or below me on the mountain but the Big Ant says that we're all in the same place.
*gasping for air*
Being an ant is complicated.
Monday, April 16, 2007
The King
Today there were a bunch of shootings at Virginia Tech. I have friends that go there. They're okay, praise God, but at least thirty-three people died. Pray that Satan does not have a victory in this. Pray that more people come to know Christ today than died or have to deal with a friend or family member that died. Pray that God has the last word here.
Stuff like this makes me want Christ to come back now. Everytime I walk past a prostitute or read the headlines or hear that another one of my friends is going to Iraq I'm overwhelmed with the vision of what it could be like if Christ was King- King over everything, and everyone knew who the King was, and people bowed to the King and did what the King said; and they didn't do this because they'd be punished if they didn't, they did it because the King told them that he loved them and that he wanted to know everything about them and have a relationship with them.
Do you realize that if you are a Christian, you have a deep, intimate relationship with a King?
I don't think that we realize what Kings are like because none of us have ever lived under a king's ruling; I certainly haven't. But I do think that we'd think twice before shooting eachother, or hating eachother, or not letting eachother get on the bus or metro first or not saying hi to eachother.
Until Christ comes and is King over everything and nothing is screwed up, we as Christians have a responsibility to make Christ King over EVERY PART of our lives. Christ has named us ambassadors- we're his representatives. If we don't act like Christ and let him reign through us, no one will ever know what He is like- and it will be our fault.
Come Lord Jesus, Come soon, because we are not doing a good job. I am not doing a good job. Either come or change us more fully into you. For your glory. Amen, come Lord Jesus, come.
Stuff like this makes me want Christ to come back now. Everytime I walk past a prostitute or read the headlines or hear that another one of my friends is going to Iraq I'm overwhelmed with the vision of what it could be like if Christ was King- King over everything, and everyone knew who the King was, and people bowed to the King and did what the King said; and they didn't do this because they'd be punished if they didn't, they did it because the King told them that he loved them and that he wanted to know everything about them and have a relationship with them.
Do you realize that if you are a Christian, you have a deep, intimate relationship with a King?
I don't think that we realize what Kings are like because none of us have ever lived under a king's ruling; I certainly haven't. But I do think that we'd think twice before shooting eachother, or hating eachother, or not letting eachother get on the bus or metro first or not saying hi to eachother.
Until Christ comes and is King over everything and nothing is screwed up, we as Christians have a responsibility to make Christ King over EVERY PART of our lives. Christ has named us ambassadors- we're his representatives. If we don't act like Christ and let him reign through us, no one will ever know what He is like- and it will be our fault.
Come Lord Jesus, Come soon, because we are not doing a good job. I am not doing a good job. Either come or change us more fully into you. For your glory. Amen, come Lord Jesus, come.
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Passover
"Holy Sh**, slavery must've fu**ing sucked."
Tonight I went to a Sadyr at one of my Jewish friend's houses. There were a bunch of people there that I know but don't usually hang out with because let's just say their interests are far from mine. But Lee invited me to the Sadyr at his house this year because we've been friends for a while (he's in my year) and last year I told him how I sang Da-Dayenu at the Passover celebration at my church.
Tonight was a reminder for me that people are interested in God still. As I was sitting in the very smoke filled livingroom filled with people excited about Holy permission to drink wine ("thank the Lord of the Vine"), I noticed that in the same room there were Jews, a Japanese kid, a Christian (myself), people who think about God probably once a year, and a Muslim kid who I remember talking about fasting for Ramadan. In the same room. Eating bitter herbs and remarking on how slavery must have effing sucked.
People are still interested in God and I think that God values this kind of dirty honesty and broken, dysfunctional but peaceful gathering more than he values a dead group of "believers."
Pray for Wednesday for us- Jonathan and I are leading "God night" in which we'll be talking about "If God is so good, why do bad things happen to good people/children get abused/1 billion go without drinking water." We're luring students there with free pizza but I hope they'll leave actually fed.
Tonight I went to a Sadyr at one of my Jewish friend's houses. There were a bunch of people there that I know but don't usually hang out with because let's just say their interests are far from mine. But Lee invited me to the Sadyr at his house this year because we've been friends for a while (he's in my year) and last year I told him how I sang Da-Dayenu at the Passover celebration at my church.
Tonight was a reminder for me that people are interested in God still. As I was sitting in the very smoke filled livingroom filled with people excited about Holy permission to drink wine ("thank the Lord of the Vine"), I noticed that in the same room there were Jews, a Japanese kid, a Christian (myself), people who think about God probably once a year, and a Muslim kid who I remember talking about fasting for Ramadan. In the same room. Eating bitter herbs and remarking on how slavery must have effing sucked.
People are still interested in God and I think that God values this kind of dirty honesty and broken, dysfunctional but peaceful gathering more than he values a dead group of "believers."
Pray for Wednesday for us- Jonathan and I are leading "God night" in which we'll be talking about "If God is so good, why do bad things happen to good people/children get abused/1 billion go without drinking water." We're luring students there with free pizza but I hope they'll leave actually fed.
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Monday, March 19, 2007
Daily Bread
The last Oasis service we had, Warren spoke on the phrase "give us this day our daily bread" in the Our Father (or Lord's Prayer if you're not Catholic). I must say, Warren did a fantastic job, and I was doing powerpoint for him so I got a copy of his notes and I stole them and took them home and reread them. The most convicting part for me was the amount of time I spend every day with God. I'm not spending enough. I don't love the Lord the way I should, and the funny thing is, I really want to- I desire to love the Lord more than anything else, but I don't know how. I pray for that on a regular basis and lately things have been getting harder and worse for me. I think there's a reason for that. God is bringing me to the end of my rope, and he's doing a pretty good job. Much like Paul, my desires and my actions have a hard time matching up. Not that I'm comparing myself to Paul... but it's comforting to know that Paul didn't have it completely figured out either.
Question of the day:
What's your favorite thing about God?
My answer:
I know this is really simple and doesn't do God justice, but He wakes me up when my alarm doesn't go off. It's happened to me more than 10 times, where something will happen to my finicky phone and the alarm will shut off but God always wakes me up ONE MINUTE before it was supposed to go off- just so I know that it was Him. There have also been times where I don't have an alarm with me but I need to get up at a certain time (usually early) and I'll pray about waking up at a specific time, and I'll always wake up right at that time- like down to the exact minute. God is cool that way.
Question of the day:
What's your favorite thing about God?
My answer:
I know this is really simple and doesn't do God justice, but He wakes me up when my alarm doesn't go off. It's happened to me more than 10 times, where something will happen to my finicky phone and the alarm will shut off but God always wakes me up ONE MINUTE before it was supposed to go off- just so I know that it was Him. There have also been times where I don't have an alarm with me but I need to get up at a certain time (usually early) and I'll pray about waking up at a specific time, and I'll always wake up right at that time- like down to the exact minute. God is cool that way.
Friday, March 16, 2007
Lots on my mind
Has there ever been a time in your life where everything seems to happen all in the same month? For some reason this semester is that time for me. The way I cope with it is not a good one. I tend to sleep too much, watch too much tv, spend too much time on the internet, not do the things that I'm supposed to do, even though I like doing them, because it's just "another thing" on my list to do. So instead of being really busy and productive, I have an overwhelming amount of things to do and think about and I end up doing none of them. That's bad. Usually I work pretty well under chaos and pressure, but that's when emotional things are not involved. If I have a lot of stuff to DO then I seem to get it all done and be pretty productive. However, if there are a lot of things happening that I have to mentally process and they are things that I'd rather not think about- I don't DO anything. I just shut myself off from all normal activity until it goes away. This time it isn't going away.
This "defense mechanism" or whatever you want to call it has never not worked before- and it certainly hasn't lasted as long as it has not working. I'm running out of ideas on how to cope. I'm not allowing comments on this post because I don't want any advice. I am going to figure this out on my own, but I could use the prayers. Right now I'm praying that God would give me enough grace to not be lazy and to not be dehabilitated by my thoughts and what's on my mind. Sleep and mindless activity is taking over my life. God needs to re-take it over. That's always hard because when God takes it over I become much more aware of everything that is happening to me, my own sin, my family, my school, basically my own inadequacy to do ANYTHING and I tend to be right where I started, which is overwhelmed. Anyways, I wasn't planning on writing any of this, it sorta just came out, I wanted to post something because I feel bad that the Candirú post comes up when you click on my blog. At least all of my problems are mental and I don't have a Candirú stuck in my butt.
This "defense mechanism" or whatever you want to call it has never not worked before- and it certainly hasn't lasted as long as it has not working. I'm running out of ideas on how to cope. I'm not allowing comments on this post because I don't want any advice. I am going to figure this out on my own, but I could use the prayers. Right now I'm praying that God would give me enough grace to not be lazy and to not be dehabilitated by my thoughts and what's on my mind. Sleep and mindless activity is taking over my life. God needs to re-take it over. That's always hard because when God takes it over I become much more aware of everything that is happening to me, my own sin, my family, my school, basically my own inadequacy to do ANYTHING and I tend to be right where I started, which is overwhelmed. Anyways, I wasn't planning on writing any of this, it sorta just came out, I wanted to post something because I feel bad that the Candirú post comes up when you click on my blog. At least all of my problems are mental and I don't have a Candirú stuck in my butt.
Monday, March 12, 2007
The Worst Way to Die
I haven't had a lot to write about recently, then all of a sudden lots of things fall in my lap. Of all the things that have happened recently, I think the following is the most interesting.
Today in my class "Environment and Development in Latin America," we were talking about the dangers of the Amazon. Among those named were things like the wild boar, palm fronds (really heavy apparently and can gouge your eye out if it falls while you are looking up) and the Candirú.
The Candirú is a type of fish that lives in the Amazon River and is about six centemeters long. It is attracted to human and animal waste. The Candirú, as soon as it smells said waste, will travel in the direction that the waste is coming from until it can't travel no more, if you get my drift. Then it will shoot out these spiney things and attach itself to its host. EW. It can only be removed by surgery.
In my opinion, this is officially the grossest thing ever. I'm really skeeved out.
Today in my class "Environment and Development in Latin America," we were talking about the dangers of the Amazon. Among those named were things like the wild boar, palm fronds (really heavy apparently and can gouge your eye out if it falls while you are looking up) and the Candirú.
The Candirú is a type of fish that lives in the Amazon River and is about six centemeters long. It is attracted to human and animal waste. The Candirú, as soon as it smells said waste, will travel in the direction that the waste is coming from until it can't travel no more, if you get my drift. Then it will shoot out these spiney things and attach itself to its host. EW. It can only be removed by surgery.
In my opinion, this is officially the grossest thing ever. I'm really skeeved out.
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Sad article on the BBC
I came across this really interesting article on the BBC website and it's quite sad. It's worth reading though.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/6370991.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/6370991.stm
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Hymn #20
I got the coolest thing ever the other day from my friend Joanna Sneller. She sent me a hymn book- it's really old and leather bound and it has a publication date of 1916, so it's really old. I've been reading through it and I've come across some really amazing hymns and I wanted to write one on here. I don't know the author because it doesn't say, so here it is:
At even ere the sun was set,
The sick, O LORD, around Thee lay;
Oh, in what divers pains they met!
Oh, with what joy they went away!
Once more 'tis eventide, and we
Oppress'd with various ills draw near;
What if They Form we cannot see?
We know and feel that Thou art here.
O Savior Christ, our woes dispel;
For some are sick, and some are sad,
And some have never loved Thee well,
And some have lost the love they had;
And some have found the world is vain,
Yet from the world they break not free;
And some have friends who give them pain,
Yet have not sought a friend in Thee;
And none, O LORD, have perfect rest,
For none are wholly free from sin;
And they, who fain would serve Thee best,
Are conscious most of wrong within;
O Saviour Christ, Thou too art Man;
Thou hast been troubled, tempted, tried;
Thy kind but searching glance can scan
The very wounds that shame would hide;
Thy touch has still its ancient power;
No word from thee can fruitless fall;
Hear, in this solemn evening hour,
And in Thy mercy, heal us all.
At even ere the sun was set,
The sick, O LORD, around Thee lay;
Oh, in what divers pains they met!
Oh, with what joy they went away!
Once more 'tis eventide, and we
Oppress'd with various ills draw near;
What if They Form we cannot see?
We know and feel that Thou art here.
O Savior Christ, our woes dispel;
For some are sick, and some are sad,
And some have never loved Thee well,
And some have lost the love they had;
And some have found the world is vain,
Yet from the world they break not free;
And some have friends who give them pain,
Yet have not sought a friend in Thee;
And none, O LORD, have perfect rest,
For none are wholly free from sin;
And they, who fain would serve Thee best,
Are conscious most of wrong within;
O Saviour Christ, Thou too art Man;
Thou hast been troubled, tempted, tried;
Thy kind but searching glance can scan
The very wounds that shame would hide;
Thy touch has still its ancient power;
No word from thee can fruitless fall;
Hear, in this solemn evening hour,
And in Thy mercy, heal us all.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
My thoughts on thought
In the 17th century there was a scientific revolution. Newton and Galileo might ring some bells. Science, instead of religion or tradition or literature, became the model for "knowing" things. Philosophers began to apply this model to philosophy; and instead of logic or fancy thought progressions, Science became the basis on which philosophers of the time (Descartes, Leibniz, Locke, Hume...) based their theories on how we can "know."
There were two camps of philosophic thought at this time. There were the Continental Rationalists, who asserted that rational intuition must be the basis of knowledge. These were the philosophers who used math and reason to reach conclusions. They invented calculus. They are famous for the phrase "I think, therefore I am."
The other camp of philosophers were called the British Empirialists. They claimed that our knowledge must be based on the intuitions we made from our senses. Abstract reasoning and experimentation based on what we saw or heard or felt would lead us to what is true.
These two camps of thought at one particular thing in common. There was a firm foundation of knowledge. One could extrapolate other theories and hypotheses using inference, but all true theories and all solid ideas came from either a firm foundation of mathamatics or reasoning based on the senses. Bear with me, I'm almost to my main idea.
The idea that there is a firm foundation of knowledge insists that there is at least one true thing that we can know and that all of our other knowledge will come from that one particular thing. If we know that gravity works the way it does, or addition and subtraction work the way they do, and we treat this as TRUTH, the rest of physics and advanced math will follow.
Empiricism and this Continental Rationalism have been seen as massive failures in light of postmodernism. Philosophers now assert that sense experience is unreliable and cannot be a firm foundation for what "is" and neither can math or reasoning. Philosophers now insist that the biggest mistake any thinking person can make is to believe that there is a foundation for truth or thought. We aren't supposed to hold anything as "true" and work from there. There is nothing that is true and there is no foundation. The biggest fallacy in modern philosophy is this foundationalist theory.
Now to my point.
This is a load of crap.
My question to my philosopy teacher after going over this today was this:
Me: If we don't have a foundation for knowledge, and are not trying to find a foundation for knowledge then how do we know what anything else we find out, or think we know, is true?
Him: That is a good question... (long pause)... Well, the short answer is that we are trying to find out what most likely will be true or what is most probably true. But we can't say that we have a foundation for knowledge in a particular area or theory because we don't know enough yet....
Again. Load. Of. Crap.
My question remains- Even if we are hoping to find something that is the most probable or most likely to be true, shouldn't we still have some concept of truth? If we are trying to find out how probable it is that the bus will come on time, don't we have to know the bus schedule, and that the bus has come before?
Sorry for the following rant. If you are a postmodernist please skip over.
I am so sick and tired of people saying that we can't know anything for sure. "False" -Dwight Schrute. "We have educated ourselves into stupefaction."- Ravi Zaccharias. Not even my philosophy professor, who has a doctorate in philosophy can explain how we can even do anything with out some sort of foundation. If we don't have a foundation for knowledge, then what is the point on which we can jump off into other regions of thought and theory. If we don't know for certain that the earth is round, what are we doing exploring the rest of space?
My point is this: No one will ever know anything true about anything if the foundation of that knowledge is false. If our foundation is false, that which is built upon it may make sense in relation to the foundation BUT IF THE FOUNDATION IS FALSE SO ARE ALL THE RIDICULOUS THEORIES. To know anything, we must know something first.
To know anything, we must know something first.
There were two camps of philosophic thought at this time. There were the Continental Rationalists, who asserted that rational intuition must be the basis of knowledge. These were the philosophers who used math and reason to reach conclusions. They invented calculus. They are famous for the phrase "I think, therefore I am."
The other camp of philosophers were called the British Empirialists. They claimed that our knowledge must be based on the intuitions we made from our senses. Abstract reasoning and experimentation based on what we saw or heard or felt would lead us to what is true.
These two camps of thought at one particular thing in common. There was a firm foundation of knowledge. One could extrapolate other theories and hypotheses using inference, but all true theories and all solid ideas came from either a firm foundation of mathamatics or reasoning based on the senses. Bear with me, I'm almost to my main idea.
The idea that there is a firm foundation of knowledge insists that there is at least one true thing that we can know and that all of our other knowledge will come from that one particular thing. If we know that gravity works the way it does, or addition and subtraction work the way they do, and we treat this as TRUTH, the rest of physics and advanced math will follow.
Empiricism and this Continental Rationalism have been seen as massive failures in light of postmodernism. Philosophers now assert that sense experience is unreliable and cannot be a firm foundation for what "is" and neither can math or reasoning. Philosophers now insist that the biggest mistake any thinking person can make is to believe that there is a foundation for truth or thought. We aren't supposed to hold anything as "true" and work from there. There is nothing that is true and there is no foundation. The biggest fallacy in modern philosophy is this foundationalist theory.
Now to my point.
This is a load of crap.
My question to my philosopy teacher after going over this today was this:
Me: If we don't have a foundation for knowledge, and are not trying to find a foundation for knowledge then how do we know what anything else we find out, or think we know, is true?
Him: That is a good question... (long pause)... Well, the short answer is that we are trying to find out what most likely will be true or what is most probably true. But we can't say that we have a foundation for knowledge in a particular area or theory because we don't know enough yet....
Again. Load. Of. Crap.
My question remains- Even if we are hoping to find something that is the most probable or most likely to be true, shouldn't we still have some concept of truth? If we are trying to find out how probable it is that the bus will come on time, don't we have to know the bus schedule, and that the bus has come before?
Sorry for the following rant. If you are a postmodernist please skip over.
I am so sick and tired of people saying that we can't know anything for sure. "False" -Dwight Schrute. "We have educated ourselves into stupefaction."- Ravi Zaccharias. Not even my philosophy professor, who has a doctorate in philosophy can explain how we can even do anything with out some sort of foundation. If we don't have a foundation for knowledge, then what is the point on which we can jump off into other regions of thought and theory. If we don't know for certain that the earth is round, what are we doing exploring the rest of space?
My point is this: No one will ever know anything true about anything if the foundation of that knowledge is false. If our foundation is false, that which is built upon it may make sense in relation to the foundation BUT IF THE FOUNDATION IS FALSE SO ARE ALL THE RIDICULOUS THEORIES. To know anything, we must know something first.
To know anything, we must know something first.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
it tastes shiny.
It's been a while since I've posted so I feel like I owe it to someone to post. The problem is that I don't have anything to say. So, I will tell you irrelevant details about my life in hopes that maybe someday, maybe, I'll be famous. Not really. So, without further ado, useless information:
My grocery list so far:
Vinegar, Salt, Pepper, Bread, Fruit and Sweetener
My biggest concern right now:
What to make for community group tomorrow night. I cant think of ANYTHING. Bummer.
Any suggestions?
Today I went to this Karate place on my block to ask them about what their deal is- and most of their classes are at night so I'm not sure it will work out because I need morning classes but I might try it. Did you know that I am a green belt in Tae Kwon Do? HAAAYAAA!
What I really want right now:
Clams
A food that I like raw but not cooked:
Carrots, although I'll eat them cooked. Cooked and cold isn't too bad- like on falafel. But raw carrots far surpass cooked ones.
Things I'm doing for the rest of the day:
Going food shopping; going to class (with scary, intimidating teacher); hanging out with perhaps the coolest girl ever, Amy M. Swaceeeena.
Ending Credits:
Producer- Victoria Stembokas
Director- Victoria Stembokas
Film editor- Victoria Stembokas
Main Actress- Victoria Stembokas (why is it not pc to say actress anyway?)
Makeup for Miss Stembokas- Victoria Stembokas
Stunts- Victoria Stembokas and Hammy
Sound- Victoria Stembokas
Victoria Stembokas inc. would like to specially thank Victoria Stembokas Shoes and Victoria Stembokas leather and Victoria Stembokas Convertibles. Also, a very special thanks to Victoria Stembokas.
(insert little symbols here)
Victoria Stembokas Productions
My grocery list so far:
Vinegar, Salt, Pepper, Bread, Fruit and Sweetener
My biggest concern right now:
What to make for community group tomorrow night. I cant think of ANYTHING. Bummer.
Any suggestions?
Today I went to this Karate place on my block to ask them about what their deal is- and most of their classes are at night so I'm not sure it will work out because I need morning classes but I might try it. Did you know that I am a green belt in Tae Kwon Do? HAAAYAAA!
What I really want right now:
Clams
A food that I like raw but not cooked:
Carrots, although I'll eat them cooked. Cooked and cold isn't too bad- like on falafel. But raw carrots far surpass cooked ones.
Things I'm doing for the rest of the day:
Going food shopping; going to class (with scary, intimidating teacher); hanging out with perhaps the coolest girl ever, Amy M. Swaceeeena.
Ending Credits:
Producer- Victoria Stembokas
Director- Victoria Stembokas
Film editor- Victoria Stembokas
Main Actress- Victoria Stembokas (why is it not pc to say actress anyway?)
Makeup for Miss Stembokas- Victoria Stembokas
Stunts- Victoria Stembokas and Hammy
Sound- Victoria Stembokas
Victoria Stembokas inc. would like to specially thank Victoria Stembokas Shoes and Victoria Stembokas leather and Victoria Stembokas Convertibles. Also, a very special thanks to Victoria Stembokas.
(insert little symbols here)
Victoria Stembokas Productions
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