Do not think me gentle because I speak in praise of gentleness, or elegant because I honour the grace that keeps this world. I am a [wo]man crude as any, gross of speech, intolerant, stubborn, angry, full of fits and furies. That I may have spoken well at times, is not natural. A wonder is what it is. (Wendell Berry)

Monday, November 20, 2006

I have nothing intelligent to say.

I usually wait to blog until I have some deep insight or interesting story. However, I have none of that. Today was a fairly normal day. Most of my days are fairly normal. I think it would be interesting to do an experiment on what one person's conception of normal was versus another's. Namely, I wonder if my normal days would put other people in a mental institution? I think they would.
I think I have an abnormally high chaos tolerance. Things don't seem to ruffle my feathers until long after other people have knocked out and been carried out of the ring. When most people would just dematerialize, I think I could still function if I was in a room with 1000 Jim Macnamees and 6000 Nic Cadys and some slingshots and a Cirque de Solei. I believe that certain things happen to you as a child and grow you into a certain person so that you can be equipped for the things you were made for. I'm beginning to wonder, if so far has only been a preparation, what the stinking heck is coming next.
While I'm at it: I think as soon as I am certain about something, it changes. That's why I'll never win the lottery. Every time I play it, no matter how hard I try to delude myself, there's always that thought in the back of my mind, what would I spend it on? And as soon as that thought materializes, I have lost. Doesn't even matter if the numbers have come up yet. As soon as I started bragging about not ever getting pulled over, I got two tickets. I've learned to stop telling people that I have never been robbed in Madrid. I've started to learn that being sure about something is dangerous, and I don't know if that's good or bad.