How I'm Doing

So the last week or so has been good. I'm up in Northern Virginia for like the next two months. This support raising has been a little harrowing. I feel like there's a lot of work to do but a lot of waiting involved which I'm not normally good at;but, I'm learning.
Virginia has been kind of lonely, which I wasn't expecting at all. I mean, I've seen people and gotten to hang out with some good friends, but it's weird- I don't feel like I belong here anymore. I guess that's a good thing because if I did feel like I belonged I'd want to stay for longer than I'm able, but it's still weird. I feel like it's also a time in which I'm meant to focus on seeking the Lord for companionship and comfort. Sounds gooshy but whatever. I've been really convicted of spending most of my down time doing useless stuff instead of spending it in prayer or in study or even reading something beneficial.
I'm also a little discouraged lately because people keep saying things to me like, "well if your student loan is that high, I can't see you going straight onto the missions field..." or "hey, I found a job for you next year teaching, you know, if this whole missions thing doesn't work out..." or " you know, missions is usually something retirees do when they have money to blow. You're wasting your education..." Literally, word for word. I'm not even embellishing this time.
Usually I retort with some witty comeback like "you're a ho," or "well, I really feel called to Spain so I know God will come up with the money..." One of the two. But after hearing it from the people that I was expecting to be most supportive, it knocked me back and made me ask, "Have I really been called? Is this something I just really want to do? or is this something God is asking me to do? or both?" It's a tough question and I don't honestly know the answer. I do know, however, that the more I talk to people about what I'm going into, the more passionate about it I get and that I could talk all day long about my church, Oasis.
On the other hand, I feel like out of most people, I'm really irresponsible and I've taken a lot for granted in my life. I feel like I've had a lot handed to me. I feel like if there were ever a shoe to drop, now's the time, and it would be totally appropriate for God to be like, okay, you had a great four years, but welcome to your real life and the real world.
I know God isn't a cosmic killjoy, but I feel like the life I'm trying to prepare for is too good to be true and definitely too good for someone like me.
I also know God is gracious.