Ug. Support raising is booty. I don't want to be in the United States right now and I certainly don't want to be working at Denny's. I'm beginning to get frustrated with it all. I know the money will come and I know the Lord wants me back in Madrid, but it's the whole process of getting there and all the steps I have to go through that take effort. I'm just generally irritated right now.
My time with the Lord was going good for a while and then not so good because I never can seem to be faithful. I'm starting to get apathetic. Like- I just don't want to do anything at all, good or bad. I just want to sit and wait for something to happen. Blech. Bad feelings.
I know it's just a matter of time before I snap out of this funk- I'm a lot less dramatic this time, as in I know this wont last forever... it probably wont even last that long, but it's still a sucky place to be. I guess that's what a full six months here without Christian fellowship- real fellowship- will do to a person. Although, I guess that's just me blaming my crap on the lack of other people.
I can't believe I've been here for six months. I don't know whether that's encouraging or that makes me want to give up.
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2 comments:
1. I will be seeing you in a little over 24 hours, which is really really exciting.
2. would missionary work be as rewarding if you didn't have to work for it?
3. everyone gets into stagnant periods of their life. it's human nature. realizing it is the first step to moving on. you know there's a problem, you know you need to change it, so figure out what steps you can take to bring you closer to your goal. write it down. make a list.
4. I love you dearly, which is why I'm the one handing out the tough love. you CAN do this. I know you can. it's hard, but that'll make the end much more worthwhile. in the grand scheme of things, 6 months isn't a long time, and neither is a year if it comes to that.
I'll see you soon, and we'll talk more. until then, have a safe trip.
Sending you love from Spain! Miss you. Hang in there. We believe in you.
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