Do not think me gentle because I speak in praise of gentleness, or elegant because I honour the grace that keeps this world. I am a [wo]man crude as any, gross of speech, intolerant, stubborn, angry, full of fits and furies. That I may have spoken well at times, is not natural. A wonder is what it is. (Wendell Berry)

Friday, March 17, 2006

While you're all waiting for Italy...

I'm not quite done with my Italy post, so for you very impatient readers, here's something to tie you over. Its the same google image thing that heather and kelly did- here it is

First Name: Victoria (clearly represents me well)


Middle Name: Catherine (the only picture that wasn't catherine zeta jones. plus i think its cute)

Last Name: Stembokas (I didn't think a picture would come up, but only one did. A picture of a deer. Interesting.)


Age on my next birthday: 20!


City I grew up in: Out of the many, I'm going to pick Purcellville, Virginia:


(This is cool, because it's a cross that lights up on the highway that you can see at night. The Catholic church I went to when I was younger put it up.)

Favorite Color: ORANGE (pronounced aarange)


Place I'd like to live: In a Jungle Hut (kelly and heather, you have no imagination)


Place I live Now: Madrid


(Real Madrid, 1956)

Habit I have: singing in the shower


Favorite Food: Right now, Chicken Parmesan. mmmm.


Favorite Aminal: I have no idea. I like my stuffed lion a lot though.

Religion: Bible thumpin' Fundamentalist

Dream Job: an Orator


Grandmother's Name: Peggy Landfield (this is NOT what my gramma looks like)


Favorite Smell: Honeysuckles


put all those pictures together and you get me.

Friday, February 24, 2006


Dive in... you never know what lies in the murk. Theres a boat if you can't swim. Posted by Picasa

El Elyon, The God Most High

Troy Cady is my pastor in Spain. He's a pretty smart guy and sometimes he says really profound things, I think sometimes without realizing it. During the last vision crafting meeting, Troy said something that I am still thinking about, and of which I have recently been reminded because of a new Bible study I'm doing about the names of God.
After I finished screaming the word discipleship over and over again at the top of my lungs, Troy suggested that our church's vision statement have phrases that have two contrasting parts. An example of this would be a focus on discipleship YET devotion to evangelism; teaching YET equipping believers to teach themselves, etc. These two phrases stand opposed to eachother but when contrasted against eachother make the meaning of the other a little richer and a little more meaningful. Keep this thought in mind...
I've been doing this bible study called "Lord, I Want to Know You" by Kay Arthur. I love Kay Arthur and if you don't like her, I will fight you. Kay Arthur presents an inductive approach to bible study- meaning that one looks at the scripture, the greek, the context and other corresponding verses in scripture to understand what a particular verse means. She doesn't use commentary or old theology book quotes. I like commentaries and I love old theology book quotes, but I think she's right in saying that they should be an extra suppliment to understanding scripture only after one has already waited for guidance from the Holy Spirit. That said, the point of the book is to explore the names of God in scripture to better understand His character; since names were used to demonstrate someone's character back in the day.
The newest name of God that we went over was El Elyon, or God the Most High. She writes, "El Elyon is the name that designates God as the sovereign ruler of all the universe. It was El Elyon... who delivered Abraham's enemies into his hand (Gen. 14:21). It was the Most High God who was and is the Redeemer of Israel (Psm. 78:35). And it is the Most High God who rules today over the affairs of men."
El Elyon
rules over every affair of men imaginable. She quoted a LOT of verses talking about exactly what God has dominion over. I will type only a few out for you to see what I'm talking about. These are the ones that have had the biggest impact on me. (Italics are mine, pay attention to what's italicized and what God has control over.)

"... His kingdom endures from generation to generation. And all the inhabitants of the earth are accounted as nothing, but He does according to His will in the host of heaven and among the inhabitants of the earth; and no one can ward off His hand or say to Him, "What hast though done?"" (Daniel 4:35)

"Remember the former things long past, for I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is no one like me... My purpose will be established, and I will accomplish all My good pleasure... Truly I have spoken; truly I will bring it to pass. I have planned it, surely I will do it." (Isaiah 46:9-11)

"See now that I, I am He, and there is no god besides Me; it is I who put to death and give life. I have wounded, and it is I who heal; and there is no one who can deliver from My hand."
(Deuteronomy 32:39)

"But to Hannah he would give a double portion, for he loved Hannah, but the LORD had closed her womb. Her rival, however, would provoke her bitterly to irritate her, because the LORD had closed her womb." (I Samuel 1:5-6)

"I am the LORD, and there is no other, the One forming light and creating darkness, causing well-being and creating calamity; I am the LORD who does all these."
(Isaiah 45:6-7)

Are you catching a trend? The Mormon church considers the God of the Old Testament to be a completely different God than that of the New Testament. I'm not Mormon, and I disagree with that presumption, but I do see where they could get that from. They describe the God of the Old Testament as an angry, vengeful, all powerfull, stay-out-of-my-way god. In just these four verses we catch a glimpse of the Most High causing death, illness, physical injury, barrenness, creating darkness and creating calamity. Calamity! This suggests that Hurricane Katrina was not caused by some butterfly flapping it's wings off the coast of Africa. This suggests that disease and death and barrenness are not only products of the fall, they are in fact sent by God to do his will and give Him glory! This suggests that in comparison to the importance of the Glory of God, the inhabitants of the earth are counted as nothing! Nothing!



Yet...


"Then little children were brought to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked those who brought them.Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."" (Matt. 19:13-14)

" See, the Sovereign LORD comes with power,
and his arm rules for him.
See, his reward is with him,
and his recompense accompanies him.
He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those that have young."
(Isaiah 40:10-11)

"Christ Jesus, who being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death- even death on a cross!"
(Phil. 2:6-8)

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Body Part: Eyes

I got to speak this last weekend at Oasis (my church in Madrid), and here is what I said:
The series we’re doing is Body Parts and this week’s body parts are the eyes. Romans 6:13 says to “present our bodies as instruments of righteousness” to God so tonight I’m going to be talking about using our eyes to God’s glory. Now, glorifying God with our eyes can be described in a lot of different ways- what we should look at, what we shouldn’t look at, who we should pay special attention too… and Jesus talked a lot about what our eyes should and shouldn’t be doing when he was on earth, so when I was faced with the subject of eyes I didn’t really know where to start. Then I heard the song we just sang. “Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full in His wonderful face. And the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of his glory and grace.”
As Christians, we seem to develop these cute little happy sayings that we say to each other when we’re feeling sad or a situation seems hopeless. We say things like, “every cloud has a silver lining,” and “there’s always darkness before the dawn,” or even “Jesus Loves You and the little children.” Now, these things sound nice but a lot of the time we’re left thinking, okay that’s well and good, but what am I supposed to do now??? I know Jesus loves me and I know Jesus loves the little children… but what now??
I don’t want the phrase “turn your eyes upon Jesus” to be just another one of those phrases that comes up and leaves you asking what now!? How do I turn my eyes upon Jesus, Victoria? I can’t see Jesus, can you? (no, I can’t see Jesus either) … I am going to talk tonight about what exactly turning our eyes upon Jesus looks like… but first I want to talk about why this is important.
Someone read Luke 6:39. It says “Can a blind man lead a blind man? Will they both not fall into a pit?” See, our eyes affect every single thing we do. It’s very, very frustrating not being able to see because all of a sudden we don’t have the whole picture. That’s why, no matter how much it hurts our eyes, in the middle of the night, when we need to get up for something, we turn on the light; because we know there is the potential to hurt much more than just our eyes. And especially in Madrid, we would never, ever just walk out into the street without looking both ways for cars. ** bird slide** Have you ever been really sorry you didn’t check more carefully the bread you just made your sandwich on? You go in to take a nice big bite and you see this green fuzzy thing taking over the bread… ** Mold slide** Most people try very hard to get the whole picture before they do almost anything, (driving, eating, walking…) Now, watch this clip of what happens when we can only see part of what’s going on. MOVIE CLIP #1- CHUNK… Chunk in this clip meant well, he was going to turn in the bad guys- the Fratelli’s- and he ended up getting caught by them because he couldn’t see in the dark. Like Chunk, most people are walking around half blind with only a small glimpse of the big picture- and they end up making huge mistakes because of this.
Let me explain further by asking another question and I promise we’ll get back to this big picture idea and falling into a pit and turning your eyes on Jesus.

Did you ever wonder why Jesus, while he was on Earth, prayed? I mean, He is God! Why should he have to pray? He can conjure up anything he wants with his mere words and he never had to ask for forgiveness because He was perfect! It wasn’t even to teach his disciples necessarily- Luke 5:16 says that Jesus “often withdrew into the wilderness and prayed.” He often went off to pray by himself! Now, I think there we’re various reasons for this but I think one major one sticks out to me. Jesus went to turn his eyes on his Father just as we are to turn our eyes on Him. It’s kind of like the blind man leading the blind man… We’re half blind down here on earth, so we need someone to lead us or we’re going to fall into a pit! Obviously, Jesus is that leader, he’s the one that has the whole picture, he’s the one who can see in the dark, so if Jesus had to go to his father and turn his eyes on his Father, we need to follow our leader and do the same. We need to turn our eyes on Jesus- You see, that was Jesus’ way of getting the big picture. It was his way of seeing the whole story. It was his way of opening both his physical eyes to see what was going on around him and his spiritual eyes to see why these things mattered. Let me say that again, because it is the crux of what I have to say tonight. It was his way of opening both his physical eyes to see what was going on around him, and his spiritual eyes to see why it even mattered. You see- He was immersed in a physical world and he was in a physical body where he couldn’t just look around and see the spiritual like he could when he wasn’t in the flesh!
Once Jesus came to earth, he had the same restrictions that you and I have. We can’t look our Heavenly Father in the face and neither could Jesus. So… through prayer, he turned his eyes on his Father to get the whole story, because He KNEW from before that without seeing everything physical through a spiritual lens, he wouldn’t get the whole story. Just as we wouldn’t walk out into traffic or eat moldy bread, we ought not to just ignore the spiritual significance of things. G.K. Chesterton said “God is like the sun. You cannot look at it, but without it you cannot look at anything else!” What I’m saying is that just as what we see with our eyes affects where we step on the side walk if you know what I’m saying, our spiritual eyes should have just as much significance in the way we react to things and basically, how we behave. We’ve got to walk around with our spiritual eyes open or there is a very big pit we are likely to fall into.
C.S. Lewis talks in depth about this in his book Letters to Malcolm: Chiefly on Prayer. He warns us not to mistake what we see going on around us as the Ultimate Reality as he calls it, or the big picture- because it is far from it. He uses the example of a dream. A dream is a delusion only so long as we’re dreaming. However, when we wake up- it ceases to be a delusion or a lie or a trick. Because now we are seeing it from the outside perspective that a giant spider really wasn’t about to eat you although five minutes before your whole body was seized with terror as the spider approached. C.S. Lewis also explains this like a play. He says we’re all in a giant play. The world is like a stage set. If you attack a little house with hammers and clubs on a stage, you won’t get pieces of brick and stone like you would in the real world, rather, you would just cut a hole in the canvas. Likewise, we are all characters- covered in stage makeup (which is our bodies), and we’re in the costumes of our professions and our tastes, yet that’s not who we really are! You see, an actor cannot act if he has nothing underneath the character. Actors don’t go home at night still pretending to be doctors or psychos or aliens. They have real people underneath that make the doctor or psycho or alien more interesting and real. C.S. Lewis says, “Now the moment of prayer is for me… the awareness… that this ‘real world’ and ‘real self’ are very far from being rock-bottom realities. I cannot, in the flesh, leave the stage, either to go behind the scenes or to take my seat in the pit; but I can remember that these regions exist. I also remember that my apparent self--- this clown or hero or (English teacher or student or secretary or doctor) - under his grease-paint is a real person with an off-stage life… And in prayer, this real I struggles to speak…”
Turning our eyes on Jesus, which to me is really another word for praying, is exactly this.
What you see with your eye balls is only half the story. II Corinthians 4:18 says, “So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary but what is unseen is eternal.” To get the full story, you have to open your spiritual eyes (which is turning your eyes on Jesus) and recognize that there are two worlds at work, the visible physical world, and the invisible spiritual world and we cannot understand this world and therefore act appropriately if we are not seeing the big picture- both the physical and the spiritual. Paul, on his way to Damascus when he was still called Saul, learned this lesson better than anyone else I can describe. We see this story in Acts 9. “Meanwhile, Saul was still breathing out murderous threats against the Lord’s disciples… As he neared Damascus, suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him. He fell to the ground and heard a voice say to him, “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?” “Who are you Lord?” Saul asked. “I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting,” he replied, “Now get up and go into the city, and you will be told what to do…” Saul got up from the ground, and when he opened his eyes, he could see nothing.”
Could you imagine??? All of a sudden, Paul walking down the street becomes blind because God says to him, guess what Paul- What you’ve seen with your physical eyes your whole life MEANS NOTHING. IT MEANS NOTHING, PAUL. Unless you know what’s going on spiritually, you’re better off as a blind man! That’s why you didn’t see me before and that’s why you can’t see anything now!
Now, three days later, Paul regained his sight and with that came a complete life change. His whole life changed because of the one moment that his spiritual eyes were opened.
Now most of us didn’t go around killing Christians before we we’re saved. And most of us are here because we know that a God exists and a spiritual world exists. However, I know I sometimes don’t live like I see the whole picture. Imagine if we really lived like God was our Provider and our Protector and our Comfort. Imagine if we took God at his word when he says that with the measure with which we give, that’s what we’ll be given. I’d probably tithe more, I’d definitely share my faith more and I wouldn’t care if people got offended or hated me after.
Allow me to extend the analogy of the play a little bit further. We’re all in a play and we’re all characters but someday that play will end and we’ll walk of stage. I Corinthians 13:12 says “Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face.” Our spiritual eyes will be fully opened. Some of us will be very surprised with what we see then and some of us will go, Oh, that’s what that looks like all cleared up… I’m going to pray and then we’re going to sing Open the Eyes of My Heart and I want you all to think about the situations in your life that seem most despairing to you or disheartening and then look at them again through spiritual eyes. Has God said He’ll be your provider? Then he will. Has he said He knows the things he’s planned for you? Then he does. Has he counted the hairs on your heads? He knows every one.